Operation Jack

Fighting autism, one mile at a time.

Running Every Day Again … FINALLY!

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I go back and forth trying to decide what I should typically focus on in my blog. Running? Operation Jack? Autism? My family? My daily adventures? Well, definitely not my daily adventures, because I’m pretty boring. I guess I’ll just try to write enough without falling asleep and hope y’all keep coming back. Today, I think I’m going to tell a story about how much of a dork I was in junior high.

Running Update
Well, as I mentioned yesterday, I’m getting a greenish-yellowish light from my physical therapist to run. I’m only going to do what she allows me to, because I’m smart enough to know how stupid I am, and I don’t want to spend all of next year in pain.

This morning, I was allowed 10 miles, and for the first time in 38 days, I went on a double-digit run! Yeah! 10.1 on the hills I always run on. It was a little warm out there — 73 degrees before 7 a.m.? Felt a little slow at 8:30/mile and a moderate-to-decent effort, but I know I’m rusty and I’ll be where I need to be soon enough. Tomorrow, 7 miles.

That reminds me, Sally, I didn’t see you. I think I left a tiny bit too early. Let me know what time you’re running tomorrow and maybe I’ll just drive over and meet you at the start.

Coming Soon: GoWagon.com!
Train 4 Autism and Operation Jack have teamed up with a website called GoWagon.com to help you with your training. I’m going to be working on integrating GoWagon.com with the Operation Jack website. In doing so, we’ll post training plans and help you log your workouts online. If you’re on one of the teams here at Operation Jack, you’ll be able to see how everybody on your team is doing through a Facebookish news feed type of feature on the team page.

It’s gonna be pretty cool once we get it up this fall. Of course, I’m the web developer here, so “we” is “me” … put another project on the pile!

I’m On A Team … Now What?
Buy a shirt! Or recruit friends. I know I keep saying this, but I’m going to help you soon. I really am. I’m just putting the finishing touches on my project and then I’ll be able to dive back into this full-time. I’m super antsy about all of this, because making Operation Jack a success is a HUGE deal to me and I know I need to support you. I’m trying, I swear. I’ll be able to help you better very soon and I REALLY, REALLY appreciate your patience.

Platoons!
I guess one of the benefits of running 60 marathons is that I get to name the endeavor after my own child and I get to put pictures of him up on the website. But let’s be realistic: You care more about your kid than mine (well, except for you, Tiff, because your kids are my kids!). So, if you want to be a part of Operation Jack and support a great cause, I want to put some spotlight on your kid/grandkid/nephew/niece/etc.

Take a look at the Platoons page. It’s super easy to put one of those up. Drop me a line and I’ll tell you how!

Ice Cream Update
Vanilla/chocolate frozen yogurt swirl at Costco for lunch yesterday. Streak is now up to 69 consecutive days eating frozen yogurt or ice cream.

Mississippi Anybody?
I’ve still got four months until the start of next year, but those four months are going to fly by. So, I need to get going on building teams for the courses that come earlier in the year. I’ll start with the Mississippi Blues Marathon on January 9 in Jackson, Miss. I need people for that team! They have a 1/2 marathon, full marathon and marathon relay. I’ve been in contact with their Elite Athletes Coordinator, Bryan Lagg, and he’s been very kind and accommodating. I’m really looking forward to this race — they’re going to do a number helping Operation Jack and I want to pay Bryan back with a good turnout.

If any of you are in Mississippi, or if you know anybody in Mississippi, please join the team! A lot of you ask, “what can I do to help?” Well, here’s something you can do!

Facebook/Twitter/T-Shirts!
If you’re not a fan on Facebook, hop to it! If you’re on Twitter, follow @operationjack.

And of course, none of you would upset me if you bought a t-shirt!

Talking With Erin
Yesterday, I started off my blog with a brief mention of a conversation I had with Erin on Sunday. So today, I’m to go more in-depth about a conversation I had with her yesterday.

Sam: Yeah, I’m back from the dead. Glad you read it — if I’m gonna call you out in the first sentence, it would be a bummer if you never saw it!

Erin: yeah. just glad you didn’t make fun of me. You didn’t, right?!

Sam: No, not at all. I just like putting people’s names in there every here and there for fun. If I was making fun of you, you’d know and it wouldn’t be anything insulting. Only person I’ll insult in my blog is me. Maybe tomorrow I’ll do that and make fun you at the same time.

Erin: ha ha! now I better be mentioned tomorrow!

Done. Now, as I promised you, Erin, I’ll insult myself. This brings me to how I mentioned up at the top how I’d talk about what a dork I was in junior high.

Sam: Junior High: Dork!
OK, I know this isn’t much of a surprise and it’s not really like a magician revealing his tricks, but I write my blog the night before and I word it as if I wrote it the day I posted it. Well, I write the running part in the morning, but that’s it. So, what’s my point? My point is I’m tired. And I’m also looking at this blog thinking it’s already getting pretty long. So, I think I’ll save this story for tomorrow, because it’s awesome and I shouldn’t shorten it.

To sum it up, though, I’m competitive, and I was on the math team, and I OWNED the county competition in eighth grade and I got to stick it to a team that didn’t want me. It was awesome, and the only time in my life anybody was more dominant than I was on that day was Reagan vs. Mondale in 1984. It was awesome. And so is the bowl of ice cream my wife is about to bring me. Caramel praline something or another … that’s awesome too.

Tomorrow, math team, I promise. I RULE.

Video of the Day
OK, I do dumb things, like running 26.5 miles on a sprained ankle. And I do things that might be tough on the body, like planning on running 60 marathons in a year. But I’ve got nothing on my friend Ray:

That’s All I Got
Well, that’s not really all I got, but that’s all I got for today. Yeah, bad grammar. Thanks for stopping by!

It's Been A While, But I'm Back!

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Erin, I promised you yesterday I’d write a blog for today, and how could I let you down? You didn’t make any special requests for subject matter, so I’ll just go with something light, like politics. Or, maybe I’ll talk about my recent running, what I did on my summer vacation and how there’s only three degrees of separation between Operation Jack and Sandra Bullock. Yeah, I’ll probably stick with the safer topics today and save the politics for later.

New Here At Operation Jack?
I haven’t blogged in three weeks (that whole “busy” thing) and there are a lot of new fans on Facebook, so some of you might be coming here for the first time. If so, here’s a quick explanation of what Operation Jack is: I’m a father of three (Benjamin, 8, Jack almost 6, Ava 3 1/2) and a marathon runner. Jack is severely autistic. I’m going to try to run 60 marathons in 2010 to try to raise money and awareness for Train 4 Autism. I’ve only run 25 marathons in my life, but based on my training, I think it’s realistic to give this an attempt.

Running Update
So, how do I train for running 60 marathons? By running 17 miles over the past five weeks? I sprained my ankle pretty badly WALKING THROUGH A PARKING LOT AFTER LUNCH and I’ve been working to get it back to full strength. I need to be healthy for next year, and if I start with the ankle in bad shape, it won’t get any better and an already-long year will get even longer. So, I’m taking care of it (and battling frustration) now. I’m also battling tendinitis in my right knee, but that’s more of a nuisance than a problem.

I went four weeks without running (per my physical therapist’s orders) and finally got the green light to run a week ago. I ran two miles at the track on August 23, three miles in a flat area locally on August 25, five miles on that same flat course on August 27 and SEVEN this morning!

I have no issues with the running. Speed is close enough, maybe a little slow at lower heart rates, but fine at marathon effort and faster. My cardio fitness is a bit down, but I’m not concerned. That’s rust that will shake off fairly easily once I have the green light to go full throttle.

I started riding the bike at the gym a couple of weeks ago, which is incredibly boring, but it helps me keep from going crazy. Fortunately, though, my physical therapist gave me a semi-green light this morning to keep rolling. I can go 10 tomorrow, 7 Wednesday, 10 Thursday and 7 Friday, and I can run on the hills I’m used to running on. I have my exercises I need to do at home, and I’ll do them. If she’s gonna hook me up and let me run, I’ll do what she tells me to do! The tendinitis in my right knee is a little frustrating, but I’m working on it and it’ll be fine. I’ll be back in routine and in good shape pretty soon.

I’m running the Long Beach Marathon on October 11, and hopefully with my wife, who is attempting her first marathon (as long as injuries don’t get in the way) and aiming for a 3:40. I really hope she runs it, not only because I’m REALLY looking forward to running a marathon with her, but because I’m not in the mood to test myself in six weeks. But if I must, I will.

Ice Cream!
For those of you who have been here before, you know I have a soft spot for ice cream. Well, the streak is still intact. With some vanilla ice cream at lunch yesterday and some caramel/prailine type of Dreyer’s Yogurt Blends last night, I’ve now had ice cream or frozen yogurt 68 days in a row.

What I Did For Summer Vacation
I see all the Facebook status updates from people about taking this vacation or that trip or chilling at the pool or whatever. I don’t do that. I guess it’s just part of life, but I’ve spent the whole summer on the computer, working. Part of me knows there’s not much I can do about it — working too much is part of the joy of living in Southern California and feeding five mouths. But part of me gets upset because I feel like I’ve let my 8-year-old son Benjamin down this summer.

We’ve done some fun things together, but nothing major and it’s not what I would have hoped for a couple of months ago. But I just now asked if he’s had a fun summer and he said he has. If he’s happy, I’m happy. Well, kind of. I know never is a long time, but I don’t think I’m ever going to do side work like I’ve been doing again. It’s just not worth it. I missed this summer and it’s not going to be too long before he’d rather hang out with his friends than his dad. It’s been an upsetting summer, but I can’t go back in time. And of course, next year is going to be tough.

I talked with Tiff (my wife) over the weekend and I’m going to do whatever I can to bring them along to races next year. Not all of them, but at least some of them. There are several that are within driving distance that will be family trips (San Francisco, Tucson, Phoenix, Napa Valley, Lake Tahoe, Las Vegas, San Diego, etc.). We also decided that I’m going to make serious attempts at getting Ben and Tiff to fly to various races with me. He’s going to remember 2010 forever as the year his dad ran a marathon every weekend. I have an opportunity for him to remember it as the year he got to go to a bunch of cool places (hopefully one per month or two every three months) instead of the year he never saw me. Might as well do it the right way.

Does Anybody Want A Free Operation Jack T-Shirt?
We have t-shirts and other gear coming in September. I know, September is tomorrow, but it won’t be tomorrow. Still, they’re coming soon enough. So, help us out and make a donation and get yourself one! We’ve received our exemption from the IRS, so your contributions are tax deductible. You can get more information on our Sponsors page. You can also get clothing at a discount if you’re signed up for a team.


This is what they look like!

This is the graphic on the front.

This is the graphic on the back.

These were designed by a friend of mine, Tara Larivee. She’s super talented and (my favorite part) is helping for free! She designed the Operation Jack website, and in my opinion, she did it rather well. During the day, she works for West Coast Choppers as Web/Art Director and leads all of their design efforts. Jesse James has good taste (heck, he married Sandra Bullock), and he made it to the final four on the Celebrity Apprentice, so you know Tara does great work if he hired her!

Anyways, I figured I’d give her a little bit of a plug for everything she’s done for Operation Jack. If you need any graphic design work, drop her a line through her site. But don’t bring her so much work that she doesn’t have time to volunteer here!

Oh yeah, the free part. If you want a free Operation Jack t-shirt, post a comment here to let me know you want one (or to any subsequent blog I post this week) and I’ll pick a winner at random at the end of the week. Next week, I’ll give away a free Operation Jack dri-fit/technical shirt.

Who Has Friends?
OK, at this early stage of Operation Jack, I’m trying to spread the word as much as possible. Eventually, I’ll start showing easy ways to raise money, but right now, I’m not worried about that. I just want as many people as possible to jump on the bandwagon.

A super-easy way to help right now is to send people to the Facebook fan page. Just doing simple math with hypothetical numbers, supponse only 1 out of every 50 people who become a fan of Operation Jack actually participate, and only 1 out of every 5 people who actually participate raise money for Train 4 Autism, and the average person who raises money raises $250. Using those conservative numbers, each person you get to the fan page is worth an average of $1, and that’s assuming none of them ever bring anybody else along. Raise $50 by simply suggesting the page to 50 friends.


Do you have friends?

What’s The Point?
This morning on my run, a woman was walking her dog off-leash. She was holding the leash in her hand and the dog was about 50 feet behind her, doing its own thing. We weren’t on the busiest street, but cars fly by at about 35-40 mph at least once a minute. What’s the point in the leash, why would she put her dog at risk and why would she put other people at risk? I don’t get it.

I Guess I Had More To Talk About Than I Thought
I knew the things I wanted to talk about, but I’m running out of space. Well, my space is actually infinite, but I’d probably lose readers if I went beyond 10,000 words.

Tomorrow (well, tomorrow, or the next time I blog), I’m going to talk about Platoons, what I’ve got cooking with a great service called GoWagon.com, a few races that I’m trying to build teams for, plus a few more things.

If any of you have any subjects you want me to discuss, let me know.

Video Of The Day
Since I’m talking about Benjamin today, I picked a video that he’d like. He loves the show Wipeout, and, well, this one is pretty funny.

Four More Days Until A Three-Day Weekend!
Yep, it’s already Monday and this week is flying by! Have a great day!

Why Jack Is Jack And Not Joe Or Jim

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Yesterday was my Grandpa Milt’s 86th birthday. I was blessed to be able to visit him for a little get-together at his house. I love seeing him and I’m grateful for every opportunity. So, what does this have to do with Operation Jack? Well, in honor of my grandpa, I’m going to explain how we named Jack. There’s a definite connection between the two.

For those of you who are new here, I’m a marathoner and the father of three kids. My middle child, who will turn 6 next month, is severely autistic. I’m going to race (well, try to race) 60 marathons in 2010 to try to raise national awareness for a charity called Train 4 Autism. My son’s name is Jack and every time I blog, I want to try to tell you guys a little bit more about him.

Anyways, today, I’ll tell the story of how we named him.

Running Update
Today is my 16th consecutive day not running. That makes sense, huh? I’m getting over an ankle sprain, and I think it’s wise to be conservative. If I needed to run a marathon today, I could. But I don’t have to run one today. I have to run 60 next year. So, I want to be 100%. If I start next year on a bum ankle, it’s not going to get better and I’m going to be in a lot of pain the whole way.

I’m going to physical therapy three times a week, doing exercises at home and icing so much I’m feeling like a polar bear. But it’s getting better. And I’m absolutely going to run next year. I’m probably a week or so away from running again. Speaking of frozen, ….

Ice Cream Update
I like ice cream. A lot. Yesterday, I finished off the peanut butter fudge swirl. I’m now at 47 consecutive days eating ice cream or frozen yogurt. I have no idea when my next day off will be. Kind of weird that I have streaks of not running and eating ice cream going at the same time. But I’m kind of weird. So there.

How We Named Jack
The way I see it, Tiff carried the babies for nine months, so the least I could do was let her name them. All I asked for was veto power. She threw out a couple of names and then she threw out the name “Jack” if it was going to be a boy. My dad’s grandfathers were named Jimmy and Jack, but I always got confused about which one was my grandfather’s dad and which one was my grandmother’s dad. They both died in the early 1960s and I was born in 1974.

Well, my grandpa Milt (my dad’s dad) is probably the nicest person I’ve ever met. I’ve met plenty of nice people in this world, but my grandpa … what the heck, I play favorites! Anyways, I called up my dad and asked him if that was my grandpa’s father, and sure enough, it was. So I told Tiff I was totally on board with Jack — that was by far my name of choice if it was a boy. I wanted to honor my grandpa by naming my son after his father. Tiff and I were in total agreement, so Jack it was.

A month or two later, we had the ultrasound and found out the baby was a boy. I called my grandpa up and told him the baby was going to be a boy. He was excited to hear that. Then, I told my grandpa that we were going to honor him by naming the baby Jack, after his father.

Grandpa Milt doesn’t have the greatest hearing. I think part of that is because he’s been married to my Grandma Bea for 65 years. I’ve only been married for 10 years, and I know I’ve been working on losing my hearing so that the nagging doesn’t bother me. I can’t imagine how silent the world will sound in 55 more years.

Anyways, I told him about the name, he asked me to repeat myself, so I did. He started stuttering and couldn’t talk, then started crying and had to hang up the phone. Yeah, he was happy.

So, Jack was born and it was surreal to my grandpa when he came to visit in the hospital, because he got to hold Jack Felsenfeld. That was his dad’s name. He told me in the hospital (while fighting back tears, of course) that he had been sitting in his backyard the night before and he was looking up in the sky and talking to his dad. He says he saw a star flickering and he knows his dad heard him.


My grandpa holding Jack in the hospital on Sept. 17, 2003, the day after Jack was born.

The first Jack Felsenfeld died in the 1960s of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS/Lou Gehrig’s Disease). While in college, I worked quite a bit with my fraternity, Phi Delta Theta, to raise money for ALS research. That’s our national philanthropy. Now, raising money for Train 4 Autism will hit home with my grandparents, too. They have three sons: Alan, Robert (my dad) and Martin. My Uncle Marty (now 49 years old) has autism and is a happy guy, but hasn’t lived a mainstream life.

I won’t get into many details about my Uncle Marty here, but when I first heard that Jack had autism, I knew all about it because I’ve seen it my whole life. I was pretty shocked that I had a son who might be like my uncle. He’s actually probably a little more severe than my uncle, which is something I don’t do a great job of coming to terms with. But whatever.


Jack and Marty yesterday.

I’ve always been pretty close to my grandparents, but this has created a completely new bond. I would have never thought that we’d get real solid parenting advice from my 80-something grandparents at this age, but we have. They’ve been through what we’re going through, and now we’re seeing a different side of them that I’ve never seen. I have a better understanding of my grandparents and a new bond with them.

So, that’s the family history of where Jack got his name. I know y’all were dying to know!

Help Wanted!
I’m not hiring, but I will take volunteers! Anybody want to help me bring more people into Operation Jack? No cost to anybody, no obligation. I just figure that the more people who know, the more who will participate. So, if you’re on Facebook, go to the Operation Jack Fan Page and send it to your friends! See the image below … it’s pretty easy stuff.

Also, if you register here at operationjack.com, it will help me keep in touch with you as we get closer to next year. I’m not going to pressure you (I’m not a salesman, that’s for sure), but I’ll have more Operation Jack-specific information for registered users. Of course, no obligation, no cost, and your information isn’t going anywhere.

Operation Jack Shirts & Stuff
I established fundraising levels for t-shirts, tech shirts, sweatshirts, track jackets and things that go beyond that. Check the sponsors page for all the details.

Save The Date
Not totally sure of the details right now, but we’re looking at having an Operation Jack fundraiser in Southern California on October 17. It’s probably going to be a barbecue and we’re going to keep it affordable to get more of you to attend. Just like Operation Jack, we’re looking for participation from a lot of you, not just big help from a small crowd. It’s a team effort. I’m just the guy writing the blog.

So, if you’re in Southern California, I’d love to have you there. We’re probably going to do it in Ladera Ranch, but maybe in Lake Forest. My wife is in charge of this and I’ll have more info fairly soon, but if you have any questions, comments or suggestions, let me know!

Video Of The Day
Two good friends of mine, Debbie and Melissa, are on board with Operation Jack and running the 1/2 marathon in Carlsbad, Calif. next January. They’re excited about doing this and they want to do it for Jack. I’ve known them both for close to 20 years, but it still blows my mind that they want to do this. It’s totally surreal, and yeah, I know I use those words every day. And speaking of totally surreal, I got an email last week from a friend of mine named Dan that left me speechless. Still don’t really know what to say. I was listening to music while working yesterday afternoon, and I heard this song come on, and I thought, hmmmm … yeah, I can grab that and dedicate the video of the day to them.

Have A Great Day/Week/Weeks/???
I’m not sure when I’ll blog again. Probably not for another few days or maybe a week or two. Try not to work as hard as I have to right now. See you soon!

I'm All In

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As I mentioned yesterday, I’m a typical, imperfect guy. I get upset about things, I do some things right and some things wrong. I was on the verge of calling off Operation Jack because I didn’t think I was strong enough mentally to handle this. Physically, I’m not worried. Mentally, I am.

But yesterday, it became clear to me that even if I don’t have what it takes to handle this mentally, I have great support from all over the country and since I know y’all won’t let me down, I won’t let you down, either.

I’d also like to say that I misinterpreted a few things late last week and misjudged some people as a result of that. To those of you I’m talking about (and you, too, D), I apologized to you yesterday, I meant it, and I still mean it. You guys are good people. Anyways, I’m not going to go into much more than that.

I said yesterday that it would be my last blog for a little while, until I finish The Project, but I changed my mind and I wanted to leave something else up here that’s a little more positive.

Operation Jack is going to be my attempt, in my son Jack’s honor, to get lots and lots of people across the country to make a difference. As I blog throughout this journey, I’m going to do everything I can to introduce you to Jack. For those of you who don’t know him, he’s about six weeks shy of his 6th birthday. He’s severely autistic, and he’s a total sweetheart.

I wanted to show you his newest thing. He LOVES to watch the same Caillou tape over and over and over. He hops up on the chair and rewinds it and as you can hear, he tries to recite some of the lines. This clip was taken July 27, 2009.

Hopefully, you’ll be able to watch him progress throughout the next 17 months. I’m excited that you all will get to know him.

Ice Cream Update
Peanut butter fudge swirl last night, 41 straight days with ice cream or frozen yogurt! Yeah!

Spread The Word
Help me get people here! If you’re a fan on Facebook, recommend the page to any of your friends who might be interested (there’s a link right below Jack’s picture in the column on the left). If you’re not, be a fan! And if you’re on Twitter, you can follow me at @operationjack.

I really, truly think I’m signing off for the next couple of weeks or so. I’m looking forward to my next blog, because they’re fun to write and it’ll mean that my project is done. Until then, thank you all for being so supportive. I say this a lot, but I really, really appreciate it.

Do I Really Want To Do This?

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Normally, I try to keep things on the upbeat and positive here. We’re chasing a good cause and I like to have a good time, so typically, I’m going to try to write nice things. But after the weekend I had, that’s not going to happen today. I’m teetering on the edge and on the verge of calling off Operation Jack, and while what I write might turn some people off, I’m not going to sit up here and be dishonest with you guys. I’m a regular human being, which means I’m far from perfect. And here, my friends, is my imperfect side.

Let me start by telling you how much Operation Jack means to me. Simply put, it means EVERYTHING. I spent close to a year brainstorming ideas, talking with people, bouncing ideas off people, restructuring my plans, canceling my plans, resurrecting my plans, finalizing my plans, and then doing a ton of dirty work to get to where we are now. And of course, we’re not very far into it. If I keep driving this bus, it’s going to be 17 more months until I can put it in park.

For the past year or so, I’ve been thinking a lot. I’ve tried to change myself a lot to think about myself a lot less. God has had a huge part to do with that. I had a huge shift in my religious outlook, and my faith has carried me in the direction of Operation Jack. If I had to pick a verse that I would apply to Operation Jack, it would be Galatians 6:9. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. That is the only thing keeping me going right now.

Operation Jack means the world to me. For starters, it brings purpose to why God saved my legs when I broke my neck on November 7, 1991. I was never athletic, never fast and I never ran when I was a kid. There’s a reason I have my legs still, and there’s a reason why they turn pretty well. I don’t think God’s main purpose for them is to run a marathon in less than three hours. I’m hopeful they might bring a little bit of purpose to Jack’s autism.

I don’t think words can sufficiently explain what it feels like to have a child struggle like Jack does. Jack will turn 6 next month. I remember my 6th birthday like it was yesterday. I was in the first grade, I had a party at Shakey’s Pizza, my dad bought me a red Schwinn and I got a booth full of presents from my classmates. I’m pretty strong at math and I was able to do long division. Here’s the extent of Jack’s math skills:

He can actually get up to 30, although about 1/3 of the numbers aren’t pronounced very well, and I’m not so sure he understands the concepts of the numbers. It’s pretty tough to think about it. I try not to, because it’s upsetting. He’s in a fog and realistically, he’s probably never going to mainstream. If he was 19 and chose to do drugs and ruined his future, I’d be upset, but I’d know that he did it to himself. But he didn’t do anything. He didn’t ask for this. It affects his siblings. He was supposed to bridge the gap. Instead, he’s the one who steals attention unknowingly. Ava and Benjamin have fun playing with each other, but it’s not the same and while it’s not what we planned for, it’s what we have and we don’t love any of the three any more or less than any of the others.

But it’s painful as a parent to know that your own kid didn’t get a fair shake. And this Operation Jack is a way to maybe make a purpose for his autism, for there to be a reason for what he’s going through and what he’ll go through for the rest of his life. So I’m all-in emotionally. This is a big deal to me. I can make something out of my son. I can put a purpose to it all.

And let’s be realistic: I’m all-in financially, too. We don’t have a lot of spare change, and we’re risking probably about $25K in expenses to make this happen, although I’m pretty optimistic I’ll be able to nickel-and-dime my way to that. Without Operation Jack, I have a ton going on in my world. I’m totally overloaded, and I would say I don’t know how I get to everything, but I don’t get to everything. I’m behind in every area of my life, and raising money for Operation Jack and Train 4 Autism is one of those areas.

Here comes my imperfect side, not that any of that was perfect.

I put about 8 or 9 months of planning into this. Before it launched, I’d estimate I spent about 125 hours on everything, capped off by an all-nighter of programming (do you know how hard it is to write code at 5 a.m. when you got up at 4 a.m. the previous day?). Since then, it’s been at least 30 hours a week of Operation Jack work. I’m in some money, but I’m not worried about it.

I feel like I’m laying a foundation to make something happen. I’m counting on a team of teams. It took a month of pounding the pavement, spreading the word and trying everything I could think of, and I finally got my first team. I was totally excited. But the team wasn’t what it seemed. It looks like the team got an idea from Operation Jack and then decided it wanted to secede from the Union. Call me Abraham Lincoln, because I wasn’t happy. I guess it’s a free country and I can’t control what anybody does, but it hurt me. I’m working so hard at this, and just when I think somebody cares, I’m wrong. And on top of that, I feel like I was deceived by quite a few of the things I was told, and I think that’s the part that really upsets me.

The way I see it, I’m driving a bus to get a bunch of people to the destination, which is Train 4 Autism. I don’t know how to drive a bus. But I’m trying to learn how on the fly and I’m getting a lot of input from a lot of people. If you want to take a taxi, that’s fine. We’re all going to the same place. But don’t confuse the bus driver with deception. If he loses his focus and crashes, a lot of people won’t get to the destination. The driver needs to keep going.

I can’t stomach this kind of thing. I took it really hard. I don’t know if this is going to be the exception or the rule, but I can’t stomach 17 more months of this. I’ve been thinking really hard about quitting this and just walking away. I put this up six months early to see what kind of support I could get. If I end up thinking it’s a no-go, then at least I figure that out before I start buying airline tickets. I was really upset this weekend. In fact, I pulled the site down twice and for the first time since I’ve had my Facebook account, I don’t have a status right now. I just don’t have anything I want to say.

I need to convince myself that it won’t be this way, that I will get the support I’m searching for. I can’t do this alone. I want to build big teams and make a big change for the better and do it for Jack. But if I wanted to do something for Jack and do it all by myself without anybody else, it would be to take him to the park. It wouldn’t be to leave him and the rest of my family 60 times next year. Anyways, I was supposed to get a lot of work done over the weekend, but I was too worked up to concentrate on my code, so until I complete my project, I won’t have time to write another blog.

I get a bible verse texted to me every morning. Yesterday, it was Proverbs 28:25, Selfishness only causes trouble. I think I need to keep that in mind. It’s not about me. And to a degree, it’s not even about Jack. Operation Jack will not succeed with selfishness. I got the following comments from somebody whose advice I take more seriously than just about anybody:

I have a feeling this whole Operation Jack is going to be a huge test in selflessness. You’re going to face lots of disappointment along the way (whether in marathon performances, support, etc.). But you’ll have to keep on keeping on… more so than ever before.

Be prepared to say, I don’t care if I only have 1 person supporting me (let’s say Tiff), and only $10 in support… I’m still gonna run 60 marathons because I love Jack. That alone would be worth it all.

I think he’s right. I know I have the physical strength to for Operation Jack. I just need to stay strong mentally. I’ll need to keep Galatians 6:9 in mind.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.