I probably sound like a broken record complaining about my son Jack not being in school, but that’s completely dominating and destroying my life right now, so I don’t have a whole lot else to talk about it. NOTE: There are some new developments in this … scroll down to where it says “New Developments” if you know the story and are in a hurry.
Real quick backdrop: If you’ve never been here, click here to see what Operation Jack is. Jack is my 9-year-old son. He’s severely autistic, not really talking, still in diapers. I started a charity in his name because I wanted his struggles to be for at least some good. So click that link if you’ve never been here before and see how we’ve raised somewhere in the $150K range since 2009.
OK, I have a couple of previous blogs about his school problem:
– School Appeal Denied
– Why We Can’t Get Jack In School
Anyways, we had an IEP meeting yesterday. Well, I thought it was an IEP meeting, which is why I took time off of work. An IEP is basically Jack’s contract of what he’s entitled to. For special-needs children, it’s critical. He won’t get anything that’s not in there and school districts fight putting things in there because it costs them money. The goal is to find the happy balance, otherwise it ends up in court.
The crux of our problem is the unsafe playground at the school he’s assigned to, Ryan Elementary. It’s unfenced and attached to a parking lot that flows into a busy street. Jack elopes, which means he darts and runs away. He’s smart and looks for the right moment and moves quick. I feel like a bad dad saying this, but he got away from me about five times last night.
He was on a couch in the back of our house watching a movie and playing on his iPad. I was on a couch in the front of our house, waiting for trick-or-treaters. I kid you not, about five times, he just darted, right in front of me. I was up and chased him, but he got about 8 more feet and out the screen door in the front of the house. I was pretty close behind him, but he still got out the door, across our front yard and about 50 feet up the cul-de-sac we live on.
We’re on a very quiet street so he was safe and he never got away from me, but still. I can run fast. For him to dart and get past me like that — he can move. He has no regard for where he is. That’s why we’ve had a handicap parking placard for him for more than four years now. Doctors who know him and have treated him since he was a newborn know he’s enough of a threat in and near parking lots and streets that holding his parent’s hand isn’t safe enough. He’s a danger to himself.
But apparently, the Boulder Valley School District disagrees and thinks that unenclosed playground is safe. Well, I don’t know that the playground is safe, but that’s their story and they’re sticking to it.
We tried to get him back into the school he previously attended, Kohl Elementary, which is where his sister attends and it has a safe playground. But he got denied.
New Developments
We applied for an administrative transfer, and that was denied. The principal at Kohl said the reason was that my wife Tiffany wants Jack in a different program, but TIFFANY SAID SHE WANTS JACK AT KOHL. The assistant superintendent told me it’s because Tiffany wants Jack in a different program, but HE NEVER TALKED TO TIFFANY AND TIFFANY SAID SHE WANTS JACK AT KOHL.
Last Wednesday, I met with BVSD’s Chief Academic Officer to discuss her denial of my appeal. She said that even though we, as parents, had concerns for Jack’s safety, we did not have legitimate concerns for Jack’s safety at Ryan Elementary. SO GLAD AN ADMINISTRATOR WHO NEVER MET MY SON KNOWS HIM BETTER THAN US!
We’ve held him out of school since September 28 for one reason: we are incredibly afraid of his safety. We truly believe there is a chance of a fatal incident with the setup of that school. That’s the ONLY reason we’re holding him out. We want him in school.
So anyways, the principal at Kohl wouldn’t grant me a face-to-face meeting to answer my questions and eventually stopped answering my emails when I asked her, very simply, “Other than what Tiffany said, are there any reasons you believe Kohl can not accommodate Jack?”
The assistant superintendent dodged my questions, wouldn’t meet with me to explain his decision, then eventually stopped answering my questions when (I suspect) he realized I had him pinned and realized what they were up to.
This part is important: The chief academic officer kept trying to sell me on the virtues of Ryan during our meeting and couldn’t answer my questions. I told her to stop talking about Ryan — let’s talk about Kohl! She told me in a previous email that Kohl didn’t have the support staff to handle Jack. I asked her in that meeting what support staff Kohl had that couldn’t support Jack. She didn’t know. But she said she would get back to me. She promised me she would give the answers in an email. She promised me her explanation would be about Kohl, not Ryan.
WRONG! Her explanation was all about Ryan, not about Kohl. I thanked her for not keeping her word. But you know, I suspect they’re all covering up something and it’s not the toughest thing to figure out.
The actual teacher at Kohl seemed to get upset with Tiffany during a moderately contentious IEP. That’s just part of the deal when you’re a special education teacher. The assistant superintendent told me the staff at Kohl felt “SLIGHTED” by my wife. The chief academic officer basically said that the teacher doesn’t want to deal with us. And in all of this, the teacher never once answered the simple question I repeatedly asked her: “Would you take Jack back into your class?”
Is this whole denial resting on the shoulders of the teacher? I’d love to know, but she’s been shielded from me three levels up the ladder. I think it’s a shame if that’s the case, if Jack is losing because somebody has a beef with my wife. But I don’t see anything that points in any other direction at this point.
I’ve made it very, very clear to everybody in this situation, especially the chief academic officer in my meeting with her.
JACK IS NOT GOING BACK TO RYAN.
I told her I thought it was shameful that as an educator, knowing we weren’t sending him to school because we were concerned about his safety, that she still wouldn’t approve his transfer to Kohl. She blamed it on me, telling me it was my fault since I was making the decision to not send him to Ryan.
I guess they don’t really care no matter how loud I yell … I DON’T WANT A DEAD KID!
So me and Tiff had an IEP meeting yesterday with the staff at Ryan and the district’s assistant director of special education with the sole purpose of formalizing his safety plan. I wanted two very simple things for Jack, that I feel are appropriate:
– A grade-level playground surrounded by a fence or a wall that’s at least 5 feet tall
– No openings in that fence wider than 10 feet
Reasonable? Appropriate? Putting those in his IEP is the most solid way to get him assigned to somewhere other than Ryan. Really, it’s not so much getting him away from Ryan as much as it is making sure he’s in a safe environment. The safe environment is really what this is all about. Those two demands are appropriate for Jack, and they’re what he needs. Having that on paper eliminates Ryan and helps us move on and get him in school. Until Ryan can’t meet the IEP, he can’t be moved unless an administrative transfer is granted (that’s why we wanted him in Kohl).
How can anybody possibly say that Jack doesn’t deserve a safe environment like that? So we had that meeting yesterday to get it taken care of.
The fence, no problem. They agreed.
But they wouldn’t say “grade-level playground” or “age-level playground” in the wording. They insisted on “physically appropriate equipment” instead. They want something very subjective like that so they can stick him on the fenced-in pre-K playground at Ryan. We want him to be able to spend his recess playing on equipment he’d like. DON’T PUNISH MY SON BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE AUTISM PROGRAM AT A TERRIBLE LOCATION!
And they wouldn’t agree to 10 feet for the openings. They insisted on “minimal openings” instead. Because, you know, subjective measurements work better, I guess. They said it’s because 10 feet is an arbitrary number and may not be appropriate. I invited them to find anybody who works for the district to come up with a number. That number might very well be acceptable for us! That invitation was refused, though. They won’t come up with a number until they have a chance to observe Jack on the playground.
YES, LET’S SEE HOW EASY IT IS FOR JACK TO RUN AWAY FROM AN UNFENCED PLAYGROUND BEFORE WE DECIDE HOW MUCH SPACE HE NEEDS TO ESCAPE.
I made it very clear that I disagreed with this and I’m not going to agree to their wordings. I told them that if they don’t budge, a judge is going to decide who’s right.
It’s just a shame that here we are, November 1, and we don’t truly have a school for my son. And it’s going to cost us a lot of money fighting through the system to get it done. It’s also going to take a lot of time. I wouldn’t be surprised if I found out the district is happy he’s not in school because they don’t have to deal with him. If I had to bet, I’m thinking maybe he’ll be in school in March. A critical year of his life, absolutely wasted. And it kills me to try to guess why this is all really happening. As of now, I have no confidence that I’ve been given the straight story.
So that’s all. Thanks for reading. What do you think is going on? What do you think we should do? Are we overreacting? Share this with your friends on Facebook and Twitter … we’re going to need an army to get Jack in school! Have a good weekend … see you back here on Monday or Tuesday.
Jamie Fellrath says
Sam, you are most DEFINITELY not overreacting. I think many parents would think that an unfenced playground at school for their kids of ANY neural ability level would be dangerous.
If they weren’t so obviously giving you the runaround here it’d be sad enough, but what you’re going through is absolutely ridiculous.
Time to start a social media war to get this fixed for Jack?
ValDazzles says
I’ve been following your story. You are not overreacting. The school district is not handling this appropriately. I’m not sure that the blame lies with the teacher. I think its more about the school not wanting to be involved. The teacher may be okay with having Jack in her classroom but she’ll never be able to say that. At this point, the principal seems to be taking all of this personally.
I’m not an educator so I could be wrong about all of this. Just making my observation on the school district from what I’ve read. I’m so sorry for all you and Tiff are enduring right now. Keep us posted.
Jason says
You are NOT overreacting. Nope. My son would elope the same way and we had a couple, serious close calls when he was around Jack’s age. Once, he was with an aid and he ran off down the street, crossing a very busy, four lane road. The cops had to find him. Another time, he was in his bedroom. He jumped from the 2nd story balcony. This is serious. Jack is lucky to have fightin’ folk for parents.
Courtney says
I’ve read about your fight for weeks now and I commend you for what you are doing. I’m a teacher and this is absolutely absurd. My father is a vice principal at a middle school so I shared this post and he thinks this is wrong as well. He suggested getting a lawyer and contacting the ADA. Good luck.
Maria Holiday says
Sam, I think you need to find an advocate to go with you to these meetings. As an educator, I have witnessed school districts try to railroad parents of special needs children more than once. It’s no comfort to you, but they do this to the classroom teachers as well. It’s all about the bottom dollar. HOWEVER, agreeing to your demands now will be much cheaper than a lawsuit. You’d be surprised how quickly things can move when they think they are about to push a lawfirm instead of just two parents.
Kate says
You are not over-reacting. This situation is just awful. Can you get a mediator involved? As much as I know you need to advocate for Jack, it sounds like your position as parents is a bit like a closed door to the school board.
Much luck. Thinking of you 🙁
chacha says
You have to do what you feel is right for your kid – you know him best.
It’s odd to me that the playground is unfenced. All the schools I have seen in my city are fenced. But, it probably varies state-to-state. Growing up in Massachusetts, I seem to remember that there weren’t always fences at schools. California, I have having a hard time thinking of any school I have seen that didn’t have a 6-foot chain-link fence.