Today is Tuesday, October 23. We still can’t get Jack in school. Jack, in case you’ve never been here before, is my 9-year-old son who is severely autistic. Not really talking, still in diapers, frequently (many times a day) exhibits self-injurious behaviors.
This site is Operation Jack, and if you don’t know what that’s all about, click here. Basically, I wanted to do something in his name to try to make the autism community a better place. I wanted him to make a difference. So far, my fundraising efforts and the Operation Jack Marathon have grossed somewhere in the $150,000 range.
But now I have my sights set on Operation Jack 2.0. I want my son to be able to go to public school.
Seems pretty simple on the surface, but we don’t really have a school for him right now. Technically, we can put him in a school that’s about six miles away that’s designated as a school with an autism-specific program. Huge problem with that school, though: the playground is unfenced, basically attached to a parking lot that flows into a fairly busy street. Jack elopes. He darts and runs away when he gets the opportunity.
He’s a danger to himself in parking lots, which is why we’ve had a handicap parking placard for him for more than four years. We hold him tight because the slightest fail could have fatal consequences. We brought him to the school he’s assigned to, but after three days, we pulled him out because of safety concerns. At least four times, he eloped from the staff there. He escaped when there were three staff members nearby. He escaped from two staff members from within a room. Twice, he got away and the staff didn’t know where he was — fortunately my wife and Jack’s home therapy team were there to let them know where he went.
But after three days of observing these failures, we were told that my wife and Jack’s therapy team were no longer welcome for observations and to help. We had to trust them, although there was nothing to trust. We were told they wrote up a new safety plan for Jack, and we could trust they could implement it.
I don’t know if I’m an overprotective parent, but I won’t put my kid in a situation that’s potentially fatal. So, I requested a transfer back to the school in his neighborhood that his sister goes to.
A few of things about this school:
– His fourth-grade playground has a FENCE!
– Jack was enrolled there to start the school year.
– The school district, which has the final say in special education, is on the record saying the school can handle Jack’s educational needs.
Here you have a school that can accommodate Jack’s education AND his parents are willing to send him there because there’s not a safety risk. But the assistant superintendent wouldn’t grant his transfer. He’s forcing him to stay at the school that’s unsafe (although he claims that the new plan written up on paper makes it safe … just trust them!). By forcing him to stay at the unsafe school, he knows Jack is going to be staying home. And it seems he’s fine with that.
I went around and around in circles, trying to get answers about the basis for the decision. I never did get straight answers. I never did get yes/no answers to yes/no questions. I never did get a face-to-face meeting. You’d think a concerned dad could get a meeting to ask questions about a decision made about his special needs son?
I did finally get an email last week telling me the questions and the conversation was over. The basic, “have a nice day, good luck with your appeal” email.
The only answer I ever got was from the principal of the school, saying she denied the decision because my wife Tiffany said she wanted Jack in a “true autism program.” But neither she nor the superintendent would tell me what a “true autism program” is. Nor would they tell me why they, as educators with decades of experience, were willing to defer their decision to their interpretation of a statement my wife made without following up with her to understand what she meant. Nor would they tell me why are taking her advice on a statement that they can’t even explain, but they’re not taking her advice when she tells them Jack won’t be safe at the school he’s currently assigned to.
My best guess is that the school we want Jack in can’t really handle Jack, but they’re using Tiffany as an excuse because if they blamed anything about the school, then they’d be admitting the unsafe school couldn’t handle Jack, either. My only other guess is that somebody really doesn’t want Jack back at the school we’re trying to get him into, but they won’t stand up and say it so they’re using Tiff as an excuse.
Whatever the case, we’re not getting answers. And the educators have made their decision. Apparently, Tiffany is to blame. And the real loser here is Jack, still home, without a school, regressing. 25 days and counting. His self-injurious behavior is increasing. This is taking a toll on Tiff, which trickles down to me and our other two kids. This is making us as miserable as we’ve ever been, but that’s not enough to make me stop fighting for Jack. Nothing will ever be enough to make me stop fighting for Jack.
Here was Jack on Friday:
For now, we’re waiting on our final appeal. I don’t know what we’re going to do if we’re denied. Wait two years to put Jack in school? We’ll find out within 15 days. I don’t know why it should take that long. Seems like a no-brainer to me.
Would you hold Jack out of school given our situation? Do you have any other theories about what’s going on? Have a nice Tuesday … hopefully I’ll have some good news soon.[subscribe2]
Amber says
As a parent of an autistic child who is in public schools, I am APPALLED!! You are the parent. The school HAS to accommodate your requests. What does the IEP say? Not that it is what you want to do, but a special needs attorney might be needed or you can go to the State Board of Education. They are required to provide you all of the information to appeal their decisions as the state level if needed, and I would ask for it.
And what is this safety plan? Have you seen it? They can’t draft plans for your child and not have you sign off on them. And the other thing. If they don’t think current staff can handle Jack, then they have to hire someone who can. If he needs an aid just for him, then they have to provide that.
Honestly, it sounds like they are trying to bully you into a decision you are not comfortable with. Stay strong and be willing to continue to fight. Our kiddos are worth it and the fight you have may help save another parent from the same struggles later.
Good luck!!
Angie Bee says
Again I agree. You are the boss not the school.
Pete says
We’ve been fortunate so far with our very autistic daughter and our school district, however, we’ve watched other families struggle with the district, perhaps not with the difficulty you’ve had, but similar, for sure. All I can suggest is that some of these families have hired professional Advocates and/or Attorneys and things began to resolve . For what it’s worth, don’t go it alone…it will cost you money, but hire outside counsel to represent you and Jack. Keep up the good fight!
Teresa says
I am so sorry you and your family are going through his horrible ordeal. I don’t blame you for keeping him out of school in an unsafe setting. I will never understand the school districts. Your situation right now is exactly why I will never take my first grade severely autistic son out of his current placement in the general education public shool setting (he has a typical brother also there in third grade). They will have to take us to court to get him out. I have heard too many cases of parents taking their kids out to try another setting, then never being able to get them back in the public shool or placement they were in before. When my son was transitioning out of special ed preschool in the same district (Torrance CA and I don’t care who from the district reads this), we had to fight (we went through a SELPA alternative dispute resolution, is this what you are doing now?) to get his placement in the gen ed setting. Luckily we were granted our wishes. He is doing pretty good (not perfect, we do have our ups and downs). But, I do not think any other placement would be better. He needs to be with typical peers in a normal school setting. He has a one on one paraeducator (who is working with him on a modified curriculum), so even in a smaller size or specialized class, I do not think he would gain more academic benefits). Even though your son is severely autistic, he is smart. His mind is just working and processing in a different way. Have you seen “Wretches and Jabberers”? One of the men in this documentary was placed in an instituton at the age of seven. To this day, all he remembers thinking was “why did they take me away from my sister and put me here?”. General Education setting is the only way in my opinion. My son is part of his community there. There will be no special grocery store, bank, restaurant, for our sons when they become adults. The school districts need to wake up and realize this. You know what’s best for your son. Good luck with this situation. I hope it works out and the districts some day realize what’s best for Jack and all the other autistic children.
Kate says
Thinking of you! This whole situation is just awful, and it does sound like you’ve been put in the too hard basket. I don’t have any advice to offer, but I have a lot of love for the blog and Jack, and I really hope you can find a solution.
Courtney says
Have you consulted a lawyer about this?? I’m a teacher and that seems to be the next best option. Schools have the resources to help him and according to special education laws they have to help him.
Angie Bee says
I agree. Contact a local or state advacacy group and a lawyer.