If you’ve been following along lately, you know I’m having a real tough go with getting my son Jack into school. It’s wearing out my family and really wrecking us. If you don’t know what’s going on, then two things:

– Jack is my son. He’s 9, severely autistic, and we don’t have a school to put him right now and I’m pretty sure we’re getting lied to about that by people who should switch careers if they’re willing to harm kids. I wrote a blog last Tuesday and another one last Thursday about what’s going on. I might write another one tomorrow. Not sure.

– If you’ve never been here or you don’t know what Operation Jack is, check here.

Anyways, my world has drained every bit of happiness out of me lately. It’s been miserable. I don’t smile any more. The only time I’ve been happy in the past month or so is when I’ve been at work, because when I’ve been home, I’ve been so focused on getting Jack into school and it’s wearing me down. But I finally got some happy time this weekend. It was the best weekend I’ve had in a long time. And it’s a weekend I’ll remember until I lose my memory. Even then, I might not forget it.

I went to Kansas with my oldest son, Benjamin!

Now, a lot of people probably wouldn’t get all that excited about going to Kansas. But I’m a proud graduate of Kansas State University. I love the Sunflower State. I feel so at peace when I’m there. I love everything about KSU and our football team is playing really well this year. I’ve been to two football games with Benjamin (he’s 11), but never a home game in Manhattan, Kan.

We moved to the Denver area this year and I knew we were just a road trip away from the 7-8-5. I looked at the calendar and settled in on October 26-28. Game vs. Texas Tech. Good chance of it not being too hot or too cold. I couldn’t wait! He was excited, too. He had been to KSU, but never for a game.

Friday after work we hit the road for 450 miles of driving to Salina, Kan. We were staying 60 miles outside of town on the way into town.

Big milestone on the way in: Ben had his first Big Mac! You’re just not an American until you’ve had a Big Mac, right? I was super-excited when we crossed state line. KANSAS! Ben, not as much as me. But he thought it was cool.

We played a game on the road trip. I told him that if he spotted license plates from 30 different states during the trip, I’d let him and his sister Ava pick out a game they can share for the Wii that costs up to $30. I figured this would keep his attention, it would give him something fun to do that would keep him from getting too bored, plus it would give us more things to talk about. It ended up being a good idea. I’ll talk more about how it ended up later.

We ended up in a $40 motel room in Salina, Kan. on Friday night. Perfect, no-frills stuff. He wants to be a K-Stater someday. He needs to learn from me to be laid-back and low-maintenance. I’m an Econolodge kind of guy. We hit McD’s for breakfast and got into Manhattan and went shopping for K-State gear before meeting up with friends.

Lunch was at a place I used to like when I was in college called Pat’s Blue Rib’n. The name is clearly a takeoff of Pabst Blue Ribbon, one of my favorite cheap beers when I used to drink. In college, Pat’s sold 20-ounce PBR draws for 75 cents. How can you beat that?

Back on point, we had fun with a friend of mine and his mom at lunch, then went out to the stadium to watch my Kansas State Wildcats! I hadn’t been to a home game since 2007. This was such a treat, and Ben was pretty excited, too. He really wants to go to KSU, although we live 20 minutes from Boulder, so I’m pretty sure he’ll end up chasing some girl to CU in seven years. A dad can dream, though.

Cats rolled 55-24. It was flat-out awesome. Like the good old days, back when I was in school. They’re good, we won, it was awesome.

After the game, we got Pizza Shuttle, an institution in Manhattan. When I was there back in 1995-98, it was $3 for a 10-inch pizza, I think $3.25 with a topping. Pizza so greasy, I turned the box upside down for 10 minutes before eating it back in the day. It was the perfect 2 a.m. food, if you know what I mean. Prices have gone up — I think it was $10.75 for two one-topping pizzas and two drinks on Saturday, but still, that’s not a bad price.

We hit the road and headed west, eating our pizzas in the car. We went about 150 miles to Hays, a moderately-sized town surrounded by not a whole lot of anything. I’d been there in college a few times. The Ramada marquee said $49.99, but when I got inside, they told me that was the weeknight rate and it was really $69.99. I didn’t take too kindly to the bait-and-switch, so we went across the street and spent $39 at the Motel 6.

Ben thought the place was nice. That’s the low-maintenance sone I’m raising! We watched ESPN for a little bit and then crashed pretty hard. No alarm clock Sunday morning!

We got ready and hit McD’s for breakfast again. Third trip to the arches in 36 hours. For Ben, that’s living the high life. For me, that’s how a laid-back vacation should be. Ben found a wedding ring on the bench in the booth we sat at, so we turned it in to the manager. Hopefully its owner eventually reclaimed it.

I refilled my coffee, then we filled up the tank and I bought another coffee and we hit the road. My wife Tiffany gave us a 4 p.m. curfew on Sunday afternoon. We were looking at getting into town before 2. Me and Ben have season passes to the Six Flags amusement park in Denver and it’s only a few miles out of the way on the way home, so we were hoping to drive straight through to catch a couple of roller coasters.

Ben started the morning with 18 different states in his license-plate game, needing a dozen to get it done. I knew it would be close.

One interesting thing about the drive (well, interesting to me) … we were in western Kansas and I was flipping through radio stations. At one point, I heard a George Strait song. And then the very next song was Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z. That doesn’t happen anywhere other than Kansas. That’s yet another reason that Kansas is the greatest state in the country.

We made it back to Denver by 1:30 and I was able to get a hold of Tiff. She gave us the green light for Six Flags. We were at 28 states when we got into the city. Ben was bummed but I told him that we were close and still had a good chance — we hadn’t seen Wyoming or New Mexico, our borders to the north and south. We saw Alberta, but I told him it had to be states, not provinces. Then a friend of mine texted me a picture of a license plate from Maine. That didn’t count, either.

While we were parking at the amusement park, we saw Wyoming. 29!

We went in and rode three rides. I hink I got four concussions. I’m not as young as I used to be.

We headed home. Finally, after more than 1,000 miles of driving over the weekend, the navigation was down below 10, which is when we see decimals. So close, so close! At 7.0, I saw a license plate a few hundred yards ahead with colors that didn’t look familiar. I learned from the trip that every state has a ton of variations, so Ben didn’t have his hopes up. I got a bit of a lead foot to catch up and when we got in close, we saw that it was New Mexico. 30! Lucky kid. He was pretty excited and I was happy for him.

We were home less than 10 minutes later, 47 hours after we’d left. It was an awesome weekend. He had fun, I had fun. And in 30 years, he’ll have a son and tak a road trip with him and think back to the Motel 6 and the license plates and the roller coasters and the McDonald’s overdose, just like I still remember when me and my brother and my dad went from Southern California to Calico and then Las Vegas (Circus Circus!) back in 1982.

I’ve been so busy with so many things his whole life, but for once, I finally spent some really good quality time with him. I couldn’t tell you the last time I’ve had a weekend like this. But I can assure you next year we’ll be doing this again.

Three Things Thursday, here we go.

Real quick, if you’ve never been here, click to the ABOUT page so you can see what Operation Jack is. There’s a purpose behind my site and what I do.

1. If you’ve been here at all the past week or so, you know we’re having a whole lot of trouble getting Jack in school. Jack, my 9-year-old severely autistic son, is stuck right now in a school that we think is unsafe. He elopes, which means darts and runs away from supervision. He’s a danger to himself and they have him in a school with a playground that’s unfenced and attached to a parking lot that flows into a busy street.

Here’s the playground:

So, we tried to get him transferred back to the local school, where he was enrolled to start the school year, but the district won’t let him in. But our transfer request was denied. So he’s sitting at home. We don’t feel that he’ll be safe at this school.

I found out yesterday that my appeal was denied. But while I wanted to know why they wouldn’t let him in at the school we want him to go to (where his sister goes), they tried to sell us on the school we’re uncomfortable with. So, I demanded a meeting to ask questions, something I was never able to get during the initial process. At least somebody was finally willing to talk to me.

The woman who denied the appeal gave me an hour of her time. She didn’t give me answers to all my questions, but she’s going to follow up with me and I’ll get them.

Here’s what I do know from yesterday’s meeting:

– The school we want Jack enrolled in can handle Jack’s needs. But it can’t handle Jack. Whatever that means. They’re going to tell me what that means in due time.

– The district insists it’s looking out for Jack’s best interests. (I told them not to bother, that nobody cares more about him than me and my wife Tiffany and we can let them know what’s in Jack’s best interests.)

– The school’s safety plan for Jack at the unsafe school is to stick him in the pre-K playground at the unsafe schol because unlike the 4th grade playground, it’s fenced. The 4th grade playground at the school we want Jack enrolled in is fenced. They won’t move Jack from the pre-K playground until he doesn’t elope any more, and they acknowledged that might be never. So yes, let’s punish Jack by sticking him on the pre-K playground since the school is unsafe for him!

– The teacher at the school we want Jack enrolled can handle Jack. But now that Jack is gone, and Tiffany was assertive in wanting what’s appropriate for Jack, she doesn’t want to deal with Tiffany and Jack (is that the behind-the-scenes dealbreaker?).

2. Going to Manhattan, Kan. with my oldest son Benjamin this weekend. We’re gonna watch my alma mater, Kansas State University, play Texas Tech in football. I’m really excited about this. I’ve always wanted to take him to a KSU game and now that we’re in Colorado, I can road-trip down for the weekend with him. It’s not an expensive ordeal with airfare and all that jazz. Can’t wait, should be fun!

3. Snow! We didn’t get that in California! I went out for a 6-mile run on my trail in the snow this morning and loved it. Had some nice quiet time.

Ok, that’s all. Gotta get rolling. What do you think about the playground? Who’s your college team? What are the temps in your neck of the woods? Have a great weekend!

Today is Tuesday, October 23. We still can’t get Jack in school. Jack, in case you’ve never been here before, is my 9-year-old son who is severely autistic. Not really talking, still in diapers, frequently (many times a day) exhibits self-injurious behaviors.

This site is Operation Jack, and if you don’t know what that’s all about, click here. Basically, I wanted to do something in his name to try to make the autism community a better place. I wanted him to make a difference. So far, my fundraising efforts and the Operation Jack Marathon have grossed somewhere in the $150,000 range.

But now I have my sights set on Operation Jack 2.0. I want my son to be able to go to public school.

Seems pretty simple on the surface, but we don’t really have a school for him right now. Technically, we can put him in a school that’s about six miles away that’s designated as a school with an autism-specific program. Huge problem with that school, though: the playground is unfenced, basically attached to a parking lot that flows into a fairly busy street. Jack elopes. He darts and runs away when he gets the opportunity.

He’s a danger to himself in parking lots, which is why we’ve had a handicap parking placard for him for more than four years. We hold him tight because the slightest fail could have fatal consequences. We brought him to the school he’s assigned to, but after three days, we pulled him out because of safety concerns. At least four times, he eloped from the staff there. He escaped when there were three staff members nearby. He escaped from two staff members from within a room. Twice, he got away and the staff didn’t know where he was — fortunately my wife and Jack’s home therapy team were there to let them know where he went.

But after three days of observing these failures, we were told that my wife and Jack’s therapy team were no longer welcome for observations and to help. We had to trust them, although there was nothing to trust. We were told they wrote up a new safety plan for Jack, and we could trust they could implement it.

I don’t know if I’m an overprotective parent, but I won’t put my kid in a situation that’s potentially fatal. So, I requested a transfer back to the school in his neighborhood that his sister goes to.

A few of things about this school:

– His fourth-grade playground has a FENCE!
– Jack was enrolled there to start the school year.
– The school district, which has the final say in special education, is on the record saying the school can handle Jack’s educational needs.

Here you have a school that can accommodate Jack’s education AND his parents are willing to send him there because there’s not a safety risk. But the assistant superintendent wouldn’t grant his transfer. He’s forcing him to stay at the school that’s unsafe (although he claims that the new plan written up on paper makes it safe … just trust them!). By forcing him to stay at the unsafe school, he knows Jack is going to be staying home. And it seems he’s fine with that.

I went around and around in circles, trying to get answers about the basis for the decision. I never did get straight answers. I never did get yes/no answers to yes/no questions. I never did get a face-to-face meeting. You’d think a concerned dad could get a meeting to ask questions about a decision made about his special needs son?

I did finally get an email last week telling me the questions and the conversation was over. The basic, “have a nice day, good luck with your appeal” email.

The only answer I ever got was from the principal of the school, saying she denied the decision because my wife Tiffany said she wanted Jack in a “true autism program.” But neither she nor the superintendent would tell me what a “true autism program” is. Nor would they tell me why they, as educators with decades of experience, were willing to defer their decision to their interpretation of a statement my wife made without following up with her to understand what she meant. Nor would they tell me why are taking her advice on a statement that they can’t even explain, but they’re not taking her advice when she tells them Jack won’t be safe at the school he’s currently assigned to.

My best guess is that the school we want Jack in can’t really handle Jack, but they’re using Tiffany as an excuse because if they blamed anything about the school, then they’d be admitting the unsafe school couldn’t handle Jack, either. My only other guess is that somebody really doesn’t want Jack back at the school we’re trying to get him into, but they won’t stand up and say it so they’re using Tiff as an excuse.

Whatever the case, we’re not getting answers. And the educators have made their decision. Apparently, Tiffany is to blame. And the real loser here is Jack, still home, without a school, regressing. 25 days and counting. His self-injurious behavior is increasing. This is taking a toll on Tiff, which trickles down to me and our other two kids. This is making us as miserable as we’ve ever been, but that’s not enough to make me stop fighting for Jack. Nothing will ever be enough to make me stop fighting for Jack.

Here was Jack on Friday:

For now, we’re waiting on our final appeal. I don’t know what we’re going to do if we’re denied. Wait two years to put Jack in school? We’ll find out within 15 days. I don’t know why it should take that long. Seems like a no-brainer to me.

Would you hold Jack out of school given our situation? Do you have any other theories about what’s going on? Have a nice Tuesday … hopefully I’ll have some good news soon.[subscribe2]

Three things Thursday, here we go.

Real quick, if this is your first time here, you MUST take 30 seconds to click here and see what Operation Jack is and why it’s the name of this site.

1. Jack still isn’t in school

It’s October 18 and Jack still isn’t in school. We have an option to take him to a school that’s about 6 miles away, but we feel he would be completely unsafe there. He elopes, which means he likes to dart and run away. We have a handicap parking space for him because he’s a danger to himself. He’s sharp and waits for the right moment to go.

The playground at the school the district wants him to go to isn’t fenced and it’s right up close to a parking lot. He’s one lapse in supervision away from potentially fatal consequences.

We actually brought him to the school for three partial days and observed, giving them a chance. But he eloped four times inside the building and twice the staff didn’t know where he went. One time he was being supervised by two staff members and he still got out of a small room they were in, down a hall and into another room.

If you were his parent, would you take him there? We refuse. And that’s the only option the district is giving us. So Jack is sitting at home, regressing. His self-injurious behaviors have increased. This isn’t about my wife Tiffany, but I will say that her life is a disaster right now because of all of this. And of course, that trickles down to the rest of us.

We’ve tried to get him into his home school that his sister Ava goes to (which is also a public school, in the same district). We feel safe with him there. We asked for Jack to be able to go to the school he’s currently assigned to, because we were told it was a great autism program, but it’s not. And it’s an incredible danger to him.

So, we went through the administrative process to try to get him back into his home school. With no significant difference in the quality of the education he’ll receive and a much safer environment, we’d much rather have him at the local school.

But the district is disallowing the transfer. Their justification at this point, I think, is that third-grade “no takebacks” rules are in effect. Between the district and the school, I’m getting conflicting reports as to whether or not they can handle Jack at the local school. They’ve told me in writing that they can handle him, but they’ve told me verbally that they can’t. I’m still trying to get legitimate answers from them, because so far, all they’ve done is dodge what I’ve been asking while redirecting the conversation with contradictions.

My suspicion, based on some things I’ve been told, is that somebody holds some kind of grudge against my wife over a contentious IEP. If you don’t know what that means, be grateful. But it comes with the territory in special education. And quite frankly, if this is the case, if you have a problem with my wife, don’t take it out on my son.

So for now, he’s still sitting at home, regressing, while the politics gets sorted out. What a system.

2. Colorado, FTW!

Gonna make items #2&3 pictures, because I wrote a lot for #1. Here’s one my wife took from a park that’s maybe 200 feet from our house. I won’t say which is our house, but it’s somewhere in the picture. Another reason I love Colorado!

3. The world through Jack’s eyes

Jack takes interesting pictures on Tiff’s phone and then erases them, but sometimes he leaves them on there. Here’s one he took and didn’t delete.

That’s all for today. What would you do about Jack if you were us? Have a great weekend!