I launched Operation Jack in July because I wanted to give it six months before it started to see how it would go. If I was confident with how things were going, or even somewhat close to confident or optimistic that things would be OK, then it would be all systems go. But if all signs pointed towards failure, I’d just call it off and run off into the distance with my tail between my legs. One thing I forgot to think about was how I’d call it off if that seemed like the smart thing to to.
I’m not writing this to solicit any kind of pick-me-ups or anything like that. I’ve gotten plenty of that over the past five months and I haven’t even done anything. I’m just writing about what’s on my mind right now. Today, I’m thinking that’s the purpose of my blog, and there’s no reason to sit here and fake a smile. I try my best to stay positive, but I’m human, which means I’m far from perfect.
If I took all the emotion out of this, this would be the time where I walk away. Things aren’t going anywhere near where I’d hoped they would be at this point. I hate talking about money, because this isn’t all about money — it’s about trying to help Train 4 Autism grow. But the reality is that it takes money to make this happen and it’s something I can’t ignore.
I wanted to raise a lot of money for charity, and I wasn’t worried about it heading in. I set up a foundation that would help cover the expenses and everything extra would go straight to Train 4 Autism. But it’s not working the way I thought it would, and to be blunt, I’m terrible at fundraising. I’m thoroughly convinced at this point that I way overestimated how much I’d be able to raise, so I’m looking at three options.
1. Back out. Call it off now. This was part of plan, to call it off before it started if it looked like a no-go. That’s kind of what it’s looking like. We still have all the money we’ve received from donations, and I’d return it all in a heartbeat. I’m not keeping any donations for something I’m not doing. I’ll be out for some things I’ve fronted for, but whatever … life.
2. Go forward, do everything I can to raise money, try to come close to costs. I really have a problem with this, because I want money raised to go to charity. I don’t want it all going towards airline tickets and entry fees. If that happens, what’s the point of it all? Push and push for a year and leave my family every week to raise money to participate in races but raise no money for autism charities? That would be pointless.
3. Go forward, contribute everything I can from what I raise to autism charities. That would be a huge bath we’d be taking. We’re not one of those families with a ton of savings and this will just cost us our vacation budget for the next couple of years. This is pretty much not a realistic option.
And really, in this economy, I should have known better. It’s a terrible time. We’re all feeling it. I think I got too excited. Now, I’m about as stressed and worried as I was excited. I don’t think I’ll really back out. I think I’ll probably scratch and claw my way through it and come out of the year realizing it wasn’t what I’d hoped it would be. But I really feel terrible and selfish to be going through this and trying to raise money knowing that there’s a good chance it’s not going to do much good.
Whatever. It’s all out of my control anyways. I have the ability to make my own decisions, but I don’t have any control over what is going to happen. I know I shouldn’t stress, because that’s showing a lack of faith, and I know better. But this is what’s on my mind, and since it’s my blog, that’s what I’m writing about today.
I feel like I made a decision to try this, and by not protecting my family with an exit plan, I set us up for this. I’ve got four people who depend on me and it really kills me to let them down. So, I have a big decision to make on this and it’s going to come down to the input I get from three people. Whatever I end up doing will be the lesser of three evils.
Running Update
I had a great run on November 21. I went 26.75 miles at a 7:56/mile pace, which is about a minute/mile better than when I did my first 26.2+ run after coming back from my sprained ankle. For a training run, it was right where I wanted to be and I felt like I was back.
And then, I didn’t want to run any more. I took the next day off for my birthday, and in the past 8 days, including today, I’ve gotten up to run every single day. I’ve gotten dressed and ready to run every single day. Three times I’ve gone running, including yesterday’s 2.38-mile debacle of a turnaround. Throw in a 14.1-miler and an 18-miler and that makes about 34.5 miles in the past nine days. I was going to run this morning, but I didn’t.
If not for Operation Jack, I could absolutely give up running for an extended period of time right now. I don’t have it in me and the only thing keeping me from totally walking away from it for a while is Operation Jack. So, I guess you could say I’m in somewhat of a funk. Ahh, the joys …
T-Shirts Are Available, If You So Desire
Well, I have t-shirts now. They finally came in. Kind of awkward to go from everything else I’ve been talking about straight into pitching shirts, but does anybody want one? We have the t-shirts and the dri-fit shirts. I have the rates on this page if you want one. Please want one! They came out pretty nicely and I’ll write more about these later.
That’s All For Today
I might as well call it quits for this one. Sorry about the fussing. That’s just something I do every here and there. Have a great Monday. I hope to write something new soon.
Laura Sullivan says
Let me remind you of the verse at the bottom of your page
Galatians 6:9 — let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
While I KNOW it’s not easy to press on, you can, with God’s help, and it will all be worth it in the long run. You’re an inspiration to me…and I pray for you and your family daily.
Tiffany Felsenfeld says
Sam- if you end up not going forward with this, I think the money that was donated should go directly to Train 4 Autism. I think the people who donated that money would want it that way. Or, you can give them the option. I also want to say that yes you’ve had a lot of people standing by you on this and some friends and family have made some donations. But, I’m really surprised at the small amount of people who have made donations. Seriously, it’s been from like, what, five people? I thought with the amount of people you’ve reached, touched, you would’ve received more donations. I think maybe when the whole thing starts next year, you’ll start seeing more donations coming in. I hope so. Whatever the case, I always will support any decision you make. I’m your team mate, remember?
Brian Thompson says
What about looking for a sponsor who would cover your costs in return for promotion considerations (their logo on your shirt or ?????)… It’s a win for them as you get their name out there associated with helping autism through an incredible schedule of races plus it covers your costs (to avoid out-of pocket expenses) and directs the donations to T4A? Regardless of your (and families) decision, we’re with you all the way…
Heather Hawkins says
Sam- If you go with option 2, remember there is value in awareness. To have you out there running and doing this… To put together some press releases about what you’re doing (I’m happy to help, what with the whole “unemployed” thing) and get those out to local media and maybe drum up some coverage for T4A… that is all as important as the cash money. I wonder how much TNT made in year-one… or did they just break even for a few years while getting the program off the ground? I would bet the latter. I also do think that people will start making more donations next year. I, for one, thought the real funraising came in next year as folks ran races with you and soliciting donations.
Anyhow, I know you know that this will all work out exactly as it’s meant to, but I don’t think that means being stressed about it shows a lack of faith. It just shows that you care deeply about this.
Ally Phillips says
To second what Heather said, there is value in awareness. I’d be happy to try and reach out to some of my local media contacts in Dallas–especially around the time you’re running the marathon in Dallas–if that still stands.
We’re behind you no matter what 🙂
beverly benton says
Sam, FWIW, the people who have signed on to support you and your cause will continue to support you, no matter your eventual decision.
As to the fundraising efforts, I can tell you that all charities are struggling right now for funds. This includes TNT! They have been sending out surveys to their alumnae to brainstorm for fundraising ideas, that’s how tough things are right now! I recently donated to a friend who was marathon training with the Am. Stroke Assn. and in order to meet fundraising quotas, the group had to offer last-minute raffle tickets for prizes. The animal rescue groups that I work with are ALL struggling for $$$$. This was the first year in memory that the large pet food/supply companies did NOT offer assistance!! Businesses are hurting and this trickles down to the charities that rely upon them for support.
Have you given any thought to postponing, rather than canceling, your full-blown year of marathons? Perhaps you could just do a few next year, to work out all the kinks and then when you’ve had a chance to see where your program can be streamlined/tweaked, you can make the necessary changes and then try again in 2011. By then, the economy will HOPEFULLY be improving and people will be in a better position financially to help you out!
One more thing — even in a good economy, people will typically wait until the last possible moment to donate! That’s just human nature. I’m guilt of that. *blush*
Take a deep breath and know that people will continue to support you and your cause. Once the pressure is off, your running mojo will return:=)
Deirdre Edwards says
Sam: I thought that as people signed up to join one of your teams for a certain race then each team member would have their own online fundraising page to get donations coming in that way. Is that still going to happen?
Please feel free to call/email me for any brainstorming ideas.
Also, I agree with Tif, any donations you have received should go to T4A
Todd Zankich says
Whatever you decide, I don’t think anyone would fault you. It’s the most impressive charity work I’ve ever seen by far.
Like me, you’ve been warning people that we need fewer taxes and regulations, and a government that takes over half the pie doesn’t leave much room for charity.
Also, I really thought my company was going to last until Dec 31 and I’d be able to get you on TV around Christmas! I think it would have helped a bit, but viewers certainly weren’t spending money anyway. Millions watched, tens ordered. Or, almost ten.
I know the economy will keep getting worse for years, and it will be the worst in CA. You might know I am generally an optimistic person, too, but this is just basic cause and effect. It doesn’t mean we can’t be happy.
Jen Morgan says
No Negative Nancies allowed Sam! We all believe in you and I guarantee as you get closer to beginning things, it will all work themselves out. Believe in yourself and all things are possible!
Jake Rome says
You can do this Sam. Not in a this-will-buck-you-up sort of way, but more as a matter-of-fact thing. These things always start slow, and then momentum takes over and carries on. Of course, it’s nearly go time, so now’s the time for things to pick up.
So here’s the thing. I’ll join the Catalina team once I’m sure I’ll be good to go. I’m not much of a fundraiser, but I’ve had enough people harangue me over the years that I owe them all a good pestering.
Second, I have enough frequent flier miles on about 5 different airlines for 1 ticket each that I can never use. So if you need a ticket or two, check to see if you can get one w/ the minimum miles (25,000), ping me & I’ll gladly donate a ticket or two to the cause.
Once you start, you’ll be unstoppable. Just stop tripping!