If you’ve ever read my blog, you know I’m pretty strong in my faith. I trust God and I trust His plan and I don’t always understand it (and I frequently don’t) but I know His plans for me are good.
Well, this bombing at the Boston Marathon on Monday has me doing the What If game. While I find it very difficult to say I’m grateful for the way things turn out considering people died and people lost limbs, I know that that it’s possible me, my brother and two of my best friends could have been amongst the injured if not for my son Jack. Now, I’m making a couple of big leaps here, but stick with me.
Quick background: If you don’t know what Operation Jack is, CLICK HERE. If you don’t know about the issues we’ve had with Jack over the past year, CLICK HERE. In short, he’s 9 1/2, severely autistic and I relocated from Colorado to Pennsylvania because of a nightmare school situation with Jack in Colorado. It’s absolutely disgusting to read, but it’s important so you can see how life got in the way of my training.
I had run the Boston Marathon five times before this year. My times were 3:03, 3:01, 3:03, 2:57 and I think 3:35 last year. That 3:35 was kind of an anomaly, because I had just relocated from California to Colorado, my training was very minimal and temperatures reached 87 degrees. It was a slow day. But when I’m in shape, which is more common than not, I break 3:05 in Boston.
Unfortunately, due to all sorts of issues with Jack, including battles with the school district that kept me up all night, plus yeast overgrowth issues that kept him up all night, I couldn’t train for the race this year. I should have been running my typical 70+ miles a week with 24+ mile runs on the weekend, but I think I had a six-week span this cycle where I had four runs total, none longer than 8 miles.
I didn’t care. It’s only a race. We were fighting for him to get into school. We were helping him through his pain. I was working feverishly to make a relocation happen for the second time in a year. Life destroyed me, and I’m smart enough as a dad and a husband to know that running is way down the list. So, I wasn’t prepared and I knew it.
I told my brother Josh not to come to the race. He had been to all five of my previous Boston Marathons. It’s a tradition. He hangs out at UNOs on Boylston near the finish, he stalks my time with text alerts, then comes out and cheers for me and slaps me a high-five. If there’s anything that’s certain for me in April, it’s the Boston Marathon and seeing Josh at UNOs. But I told him not to come this year. It was going to be his first miss, and I told him I was going to be bummed that he wouldn’t be there, but it just wasn’t worth his money. For what it’s worth, UNOs is right next door to the Forum Bar, which is where the first bomb went off.
Josh asked me repeatedly and I repeatedly told him no. Don’t come. As late as Sunday, the day before the race, he texted a friend of ours named Sarah and told her he was thinking about still flying out. NO, NO, NO. Don’t do it! He didn’t.
I went to Boston with my two best friends, guys named Kevin and Ben. They hung out in front of Trader Joe’s farther up the street with my friend Sarah during the race. We’ll never know, but I would highly suspect they would have been at UNOs with Josh if Josh was in town. That’s where they were when they came out for the race in 2008, the only other time they were able to make it out for the race.
It’s pure speculation as to what we would have been doing after the race, but last year, I went and showered and met my brother at UNOs and hung out for a few hours. It’s very possible I would have done the same thing this year, especially since Ben and Kevin would have probably been having a good time drinking a few beers at the bar there.
That didn’t happen, because I wasn’t in shape. But if I was in shape, I would have run in the 3:00-3:05 range. I’m pretty confident in saying that. I would have crossed through the finish line a little before 1:10, then gone through the finish chute and down to bag pickup. I would have walked to my hotel by about 1:40, sent some emails, showered and changed by about 2:20, then walked back to UNOs by about 2:40. The bombs went off at about 2:45.
Jack is absolutely the reason I wasn’t in shape. As I was finishing the race, I was getting teary-eyed thinking about how I ran terribly and it was because of him that I couldn’t train. I just had an image of him on my mind and I was thinking how I’m so completely willing to sacrifice for him, even something as meaningless as my favorite race. So, I know, it’s a big ol’ game of what ifs, but if I was in shape, I know Josh would have been there and I think there’s a very realistic chance that me, him, Kevin and Ben would have been very close to that first bomb.
We’ll never know, thank God. But none of us were at UNOs. Josh was in California. Me and my buddies were a 1/2 mile away in the Boston Common. We heard those booms. We’ll never forget them. I’ll never stop wondering what if. And I’ll always thank God that for us, it turned out the way it did.
Junko says
“I didn’t care. It’s only a race.” And yet it’s not, huh?
I’ve read “where was God” comments online — and your story is another reminder that He was there. While the events were tragic — they could have been much, much worse. A total of 7 undetonated devices found? Yeah, much worse.
Mindy @ Road Runner Girl says
It’s amazing how God works things out for us. All things happen for a reason…and God is the only one who knows the reason. He knew what He was doing when Jack’s issues caused you not to be able to train properly. There are so many stories coming out that show that God was indeed there. So glad you and your friends are safe.
Heather says
You were on my mind Monday. So glad you, your family and your friends are all safe! And thank you for another inspiring post!
Teresa (Farmer) Rowan says
So glad you are alright. I may not understand His plan sometimes, but I believe that he has one, and that this last year for you and your family and all of the events that led you to be a hair away from that bomb means that you have important work still to do. Wishing you well, and praying for your family. -Teresa
Jody Gittleman says
What an extraordinary story, Sam. The way you explain it, your “what ifs” seem pretty convincingly slanted toward what would have been happening. Glad you’re ok.