If you read my blog yesterday, you saw that I’m pretty down right now. I don’t even know what to think or do. But I’m going to use my blog to just write about what’s on my mind. Nothing more straightforward and to the point than that, right?
Just in case you’ve never been here, I’m a father of three and a marathon runner. My middle child, 7-year-old Jack, is severely autistic and I’m trying to run 61 full marathons this year to raise money and awareness for a charity I’m a part of called Train 4 Autism. So far, I’m through 47. Only 14 to go! Can’t wait!
Anyways, I guess I’ll just write about what’s on my mind. I’m beat up and I’m sore. My legs are dead and I think I made a mistake in kicking hard at the end of Sunday’s race, because the outside of my right leg is killing me now. I don’t have a real good feeling about this weekend’s marathon in Chicago.
I’m not going to worry too much about brainstorming ways to fundraise any more. If it happens, it happens. I’m not going to set myself up for any more failure. I’m just going to take care of my obligations and these days will go by and I’ll run marathon No. 61 before I know it. 83 days from today, not that I’m counting.
I also want to say that I read every single comment that came through on yesterday’s blog, but I didn’t respond to everybody. It’s nothing personal, it’s just that I’m not really up to talking about it once I write and post my blog. I’m in a tough place mentally right now.
Anyways, …
Thank You Sarah And Danielle
The night before the Boston Marathon this year, I was looking at my replies on Twitter and saw that two people were talking about a sign they made that they were going to hold up for me. The funny thing is, I don’t think I had ever talked to them before. They were behind what I did to the point that they were going to randomly make and hold up a sign for me. I was pretty flattered by that, because while I know I have a lot of people lurking and following me and I have no idea who you all are, it’s still pretty new to me and I’m not used to it.
So, I made sure to know where they were, and as I got close, I made sure to keep my eye out. I was excited to look for them, I saw them, and it gave me that last little boost I needed since they were at about mile 26.
I tracked them down when I got my phone after the race and we met up for lunch. They were really nice and it was fun hanging out with them for a little while. We talked and them forming a Train 4 Autism chapter in Maine, which is where they live, and they’ve done that. I’ve talked to them a fair amount since then and they’re very enthusiastic about their chapter.
I’m glad that what I’ve done has brought them on board. I’m heading out there next year to pace one of them through her first marathon. They’re pretty high on my list of favorite people I’ve met through Operation Jack.
The point I’m getting to is I wrote a bitter blog yesterday and after I wrote it, I was going through my email and saw an email from them with seven photos they took while working the Maine Marathon expo over the weekend. I figured I’ll include the photos in here, then copy and paste the email I sent them.
I really liked those photos. They made me happy. And they made me feel like a jerk for being so grumpy while they were out there recruiting at the expo. So I sent them an email to let them know I appreciate their efforts.
You’re going to have to forgive me in advance for the blog I wrote for Monday. Everybody wants to put a Superman cape on me but I’m just a guy who’s away from his family a lot and running his body into the ground. I know I signed up for it, and I don’t mind what I’m doing, but as the year goes on, I’m getting more and more beat up (as is obvious with my times) and when I have miserable failures like I did with my function with the Cardinals players on Saturday night, it makes me wonder if it’s worth it or if anybody even cares.
You guys will always be two of the people who most make it worth it for me. I can’t even explain what it’s like to be me and see these pictures arrive in my inbox. It’s pure awesomeness and I’m a pretty lucky guy.
Anyways, you’ll see in Monday’s blog that I’m on the bitter bus, but it has zero to do with you. You guys are a huge boost for me and I really appreciate your enthusiasm and efforts. Definitely looking forward to getting out there next year and pacing you (Sarah).
– Sam
Time To Think About 2011
I’ve been thinking more and more about 2011. I don’t know what to do. I have a lot of you guys following who think there’s something good about me. Obviously, that’s an indicator we’ve never met, but still, it means I have a platform. I don’t want to waste any opportunities if they’re actually there. So I need to think about what I’m going to do.
Autism is always going to be my primary cause because of Jack. But I’ve thought about branching out and working to help multiple causes. I’m not running 61 marathons next year. This is too much. So, if anybody out there actually thinks I could/should do something to keep people going or to do some good, let me know if you have any ideas.
That’s All For Today
Not really much of anything, other than what’s on my mind right now. Kind of bummed that I’m not more excited heading into the fourth quarter of this. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll snap out of it. Have a great Tuesday, y’all.
Way to go Danielle and Sarah! That’s awesome! See Sam, because of YOU they were able to start a chapter in Maine. Congrats, ladies! (and Sam) Y’all rock!
Have you run Chicago before? I can’t remember. It should be a fun weekend–they’ve really been going all out for the race (I was in Chicago in September) and I think that makes it a fun environment.
Sorry about the bitter bus situation, but, we’re rootin’ for you, every step of the way.
Danielle and Sarah you are awesome. Check that out Sam, You live in CA and you have reached people as far as Maine. Job well done. I got chills checking out those pictures. I am sure Danielle and Sarah did a great job spreading the word to anyone who was willing to listen.
thanks for all your kind words in your blog today! i don’t feel like i am doing anything special, just feel good about being able to give back to something i am so passionate about…running and autism. i cant wait to build this chapter up. im currently working on trying to put together a race that we can hold every year….
Part of what you set out to do was raise money. The other part was to raise awareness and you have certainly done that. Ally is right, because of you, Maine now has a T4A chapter. We probably would not have heard about T4A if we hadn’t met you.
While we are still building the chapter, we are super excited about it and all the potential we have. I can’t tell you how many people we met on Saturday that thanked us for being there. We met one family who had their autistic son with them (he was super cool by the way) and his father was running the marathon Sunday. They seemed pretty into T4A and what we were all about. As soon as they left Danielle and I both looked at each other and we said we were so glad we were there that day.
The Maine Chapter of Train 4 Autism will be represented at the MDI Marathon Expo on the 15&16 of October. I can’t wait to do it all again. Thanks Sam!
I like you, Sam, and you know that. But no, you don’t just get to throw in the towel mentally. You say you’re just a regular guy and you’re not. What you are is someone who has chosen to dedicate yourself to a difficult undertaking in the name of something important. Get off the pity bus because I can tell you right now that you, your wife, and other parents of children with autism didn’t just give up on their autistic kids after 9 or 10 months of taking a beating.
A year ago, when Quinton was gone during the holidays and I was trying to manage yet another one of Callum’s raging meltdowns, I finally had to escape. I went to my room and lay on the bed crying, “Why, God? I can’t do this!” I cried all through church that day. The pastor’s words spoke directly to me and I knew that this was my life for a reason. Sure, it’s cheesy, but I haven’t looked back since.
You aren’t a superhero, but you are a symbol of endurance and resilience for those of us who need inspiration, whether it be runners, parents, or both. We look up to you whether you like it or not, so PLEASE don’t give up. This is your life for the next 3 months. Live it with purpose, on purpose.