If you’ve been following my blog lately, you know we’re fighting like mad to get Jack in school. If you’ve never been here, then I need to do my quick standard introduction.
Jack is my 9-year-old son. He’s severely autistic. Still in diapers. Operation Jack, the name of this site, is also the name of the foundation I created to try to make the world a better place to make some good out of what he goes through. PLEASE CLICK HERE and see how we’ve brought in about $150K in the past three years through Operation Jack and the Operation Jack Marathon.
Jack likes to elope, which means he likes to run away when he gets the chance. He’s a danger to himself. We have a handicap parking placard because he’s a danger to himself in and near parking lots. And he’s currently assigned to a school named Ryan that has a playground that’s unfenced and attached to a parking lot that flows into a fairly busy street.
The school is about 6 miles away from our house and we feel completely unsafe with him there. My wife and I would be sick to our stomachs dropping him off every day. He started there September 26, and we never left him without either my wife or members of his home therapy team, but we just didn’t feel safe with him there. So we pulled him after he attended on September 28. I don’t know who puts an program for children with low-functioning autism at a school with an unfenced playground — 49 percent of children with autism attempt to elope. Actually, the district’s chief academic officer told me the school meets the school district’s definition of a true autism program, but that’s a conversation for another day.
We wanted him back at Kohl, where he would be safe and where the district was going to assign him a 1-on-1 para-professional they were hiring specifically for him, but we had to go through an administrative transfer process. The principal would sign the form and Jack would be in a safe school. But the principal wouldn’t sign the form. She said that despite the fact that we were begging and pleading to let Jack back in Kohl, she said we said we were unhappy with their programming and wanted a true autistic program.
She never would give me an on-the-record meeting to answer questions about her decision and she never would answer why she was putting so much weight into Tiff’s alleged request in August while dismissing what Tiff begged for in October. The assistant superintendent who signed off on that decision cited the same thing about what my wife said, although he never talked to either of us before making his decision. He also wouldn’t give us an on-the-record meeting.
We appealed to the district’s chief academic officer and lost that appeal. I wasn’t surprised. I won’t waste a lot of time getting into the details of that meeting, but a lot of what she said made me think she really didn’t have a lot of insight into the situation because of contradictions with timelines and what other people have said on audio. For instance, when I asked her why Jack was allowed to start the school year at Kohl but not allowed to return, she said, “the more the staff at Kohl got to know Jack, the more they realized Tiffany was right.” The funny thing is, Jack never actually attended Kohl after May. And Tiffany made her alleged comments in August*.
* I’ve asked five people for written documentation or audio of what Tiff’s actual request was, but nobody has provided it to me.
All of our appeals have been denied, and we were told by the assistant superintendent that the Kohl staff feels “slighted” by us and the chief academic officer said the principal at Kohl said she’s “done with us,” so it sure does seem like they’re unhappy with what my wife said. I’m not going to post the audio of what went down in August yet, but it reasonable for an IEP — Tiffany was upset that she removed the behavior plan from his IEP considering Jack has serious target behaviors! But heck, if you’re not gonna let Jack back in school because you have a beef with his mom, stand up and say so!
So anyways, we had to go through some rigorous IEP meetings. That’s where you go through and decide what is appropriate for the student. At a meeting on October 31, the IEP team agreed that he needed to be on a playground that was surrounded by a fence with minimal openings. Then on Tuesday (November 6), the IEP team agreed that it was appropriate for Jack to be on the grade-level playground for his recesses. It’s not appropriate for him to be on a pre-K playground, which was the initial solution.
These are both true, and this is what we’ve been saying all along, and at least we’re finally documenting it through the process. The IEP is not school-specific and if a school can’t meet the student’s needs, then the student can be transferred and that’s independent of the administrative transfer process we were going through.
So FINALLY! The IEP will get Jack in a safe school! But a funny thing happened. The IEP team REMOVED THE PORTION SAYING JACK NEEDS TO BE ON A PLAYGROUND THAT’S FENCED IN!
Now, here are a few things that were covered in the meeting:
– The teacher at Ryan said he elopes inside.
– The teacher at Kohl said Jack elopes inside.
– We had a letter from Jack’s teacher from September 2010 through March 2012 who stated Jack elopes inside and outside.
– The teacher at Ryan said Jack likes to run when he gets outside.
– Jack has a handicap parking placard because doctors think he’s such a danger to elope that holding his parent’s hand while walking through a parking lot is too much of a danger for him.
– BUT, the teacher at Kohl, who seems to have a definite interest in Jack staying assigned to Ryan, said that Jack doesn’t elope on the playground.
Apparently, despite years of eloping outside, starting in March, when he gets outside on a playground (but not anywhere else outside), he doesn’t like to run! And he still likes to run outside, but we’re not really sure if he’s going to elope again so we have to see if he’s going to elope again. Yeah, that makes sense.
So, despite everything else, and solely because the teacher at Kohl said Jack doesn’t elope on the playground, the team pulled the part about the fence out of the IEP!
There were eight educators in there. I asked a hypothetical question, “How many of you would be willing to sign a contract saying you’d give $100K to a trust fund for Jack, quit your job and never again work in education if he eloped from the playground at Ryan and got injured?” There were zero hands in the air. Of course nobody would put their career where their mouth was, but they expected us to put our son’s life where their mouth was.
Despite my objections, they pulled it out. I told them how disgusted I was that they were doing that to fit an agenda. My wife lost it. Here’s an audio clip. PLEASE SPEND 2:17 TO LISTEN TO THIS. IT’S CRITICAL.
The principal and the teacher were right there and heard this. And despite this, they still won’t let Jack in Kohl. About a minute or so after this, the teacher got catty and passive-aggressive with my wife and basically started telling her it was her fault for what she said in August. That made me even more certain that this is all because of something personal the teacher has against my wife.
My wife was so upset and hysterical. When she gets upset, I get even more upset. I don’t like seeing her cry. And I hate when my little Jack gets wronged and he sits there innocently, regressing, not even know how his future is being harmed.
We’ve tried everything. We’ve fought through so many appeals it’s killing us. We wasted money on an advocate who got us nowhere. We spent money on a consultation with a lawyer and wanted to retain him, but he never followed up so we’re trying like mad in the midst of all of this to find another one.
But on the car ride home from the meeting, Tiff was still hysterical. She was so upset. She can’t take what this process is doing to her any more. She can’t take what it’s doing to Jack and to her and to me and to our other two kids. It’s killing us.
I’m a protective husband and father and I’m coming out swinging. I’m not going to let one teacher ruin my wife’s Colorado dream. Ironically, a big part of why she wanted to move here is for some peace to counter the stress Jack’s autism brings to us. She loves it here and she’s not going to be chased away. I will defend my wife until my final day.
I want to launch a social media campaign. I want to try to tap into every connection I have to spread the word about this. It’s my last resort. I want to use everything I learned about social media during my Operation Jack year to try to fight this war.
I was so furious and upset about how upset Tiff was. She went upstairs when we got home to cry herself to sleep. She doesn’t deserve this. She’s an amazing mom who fights for her disabled child and what is right for him. Every child should be so lucky to have a mom like her.
I went on Twitter.
I communicated with a few folks on Twitter.
People were reaching out.
And I specifically called out the teacher. Operation Jack 2.0, if social media/media warfare is my last option, then that’s what it’s going to be. As any of you who have been around since I was running all those races in 2010 know, I don’t set small goals. And I love my family.
Kind of out of character for me to go with profanity there, but when my wife is upset, I’m upset. Hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have tweeted that. But this whole thing is so ridiculous, all stemming from denying my autistic son into school over a beef with his mama. There’s no good reason Jack can’t be back in a safe school instead of sitting at home and they’ve fought this so hard the whole way. This is how this has snowballed.
Yesterday, I got a call from the principal at Kohl who said me and Tiff aren’t allowed into the building at Kohl any more. She said Cathy (the teacher) fears for her safety and if I’m going to be threatening her on Twitter, we’re not allowed in her building. Our second-grade daughter goes to school there, so I guess we’ll drop her off and pick her up outside until this is resolved.
Now, I don’t really think they feared for her safety. I’m not a violent person. Haven’t been in a fight since the 8th grade. And if you look at my timeline (which they obviously did), it’s very clear that I was talking about social media warfare. The police haven’t contacted me. Nothing has been filed against me in court.
It seems like just like with Jack’s situation there, there’s no regard for reality or truth or process in my situation.
Something that clued me that safety isn’t really the concern was that when the principal was talking to me on the phone yesterday she told me she wasn’t going to let me back in until I stopped making social media attacks against the teacher. That’s the real issue.
Now, somebody correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t comments on social media protected by the first amendment? There are limits, such as libel. But the initial reason for the first amendment was to make sure that you always have the right to speak out against the government if you think it’s acting unjustly. That’s what’s going on here. And I’m not going to sit idly by and let a principal attempt to suppress my first amendment rights as I fight what her school is doing to my disabled son.
So, if you’ve gotten all the way down here, PLEASE do me a favor. I really, really need you to help me pass this around. Facebook, Twitter, please share it! I have a meeting today with the superintendent and I’m confident we’re going to get this resolved. But just in case, if you’re interested in helping Jack get in school, leave a comment or drop me an email at sam@operationjack.org. PLEASE share this on Facebook and Twitter. I need as many eyes as possible. Maybe the right special-needs lawyer will see it. Or maybe the right first-amendment lawyer will see it.
Oh, and pray for my Grandpa Milton. He’s probably my favorite person in the world and he’s not doing well. I love him to death and worrying about him right now makes this stuff with Jack seem like child’s play.
That’s all I have for today. Have a nice weekend …[subscribe2]
Deirdre says
Sam as always I admire your passion. The bit about asking the people in the meeting if they would be willing to sign a contract giving it all up if he got hurt pretty much proves your point right there. With their lack of raising hands they are agreeing that yes there is that possibility he could get hurt. Your family is in our nightly prayers with Ryleigh every night ; )
Dede Johnson says
Hi Sam,
I’m Sarah Emerson’s mom, and the mother of an autistic teen. I want to help.
All the best,
Dede Johnson
Christine Bentley says
Truly such an unfortunate struggle. A fence, really, not just for Jack, but can;t they see the dangers for all students? Leaving a school open to predators, kids chasing balls, kids with needs eloping…..how crazy…..CO has a bit of a history with school issues (violence) you’d think they would protect their children. I’m so sorry, I’m sharing this as a top priority…..no one should have to struggle for their students right to an education……safety…ughhh.. on and on….this makes me sick!
Shawna says
Hi Sam . . . I am really saddened to read your story! It’s unbelievable that in this day adults still let ego and self get I the way of the care of a child! Have you ever considered contacting somebody like Jenny McCarthy to help bring a little “light” to your situation? She is such a huge autism advocate and surely her foundation has resources you could use. Since I am new to your life and story, I could be way off base, but it was just a thought I had. Good luck and God Bless you all. You will be in my prayers.
Matt Hanson says
I’m sorry to hear that you’re having such a hard time. I’m sure you’ve already thought of this but if not. What if you pay to have a fence installed around the playground. It would be safer for all the kids especially jack.
Jenn says
Jamie & I have your back we will help you in anyway. There is a special needs legal group here in Ohio – I’ll see if they can help or if they know of a team in Colorado.
Mickey Clair aka Michelle Perelman says
This is sickening, I wanna throw up after reading this. Those jerks at the school district should be ashamed of themselves. Honestly, how can they rest their heads on their pillows at night. I’m pissed off and wanna help you fight. I’m forwarding your blog to my sister-in-law who is an Executive Producer for NBC news. Let them know this story is about to be blown wide open…no joke
Scargosun says
This is crazy. To be honest I don’t know of any playgrounds on school properties in my area that don’t have fences. I am a little confused as to which principal would not sign the form. That seems crazy as well. Isn’t the purpose of being an educator to help kids?
Lauren says
So what is the process there when schools and parents disagree. In Mass, the parents request to go to mediation and then if the parties cannot come to an agreement there is a hearing with the state special education hearing officer. Is that not the same in Colorado?
Lauren says
Under IDEA, you have the right to a hearing….not a district hearing but at the state level. You don’t need a lawyer, you can do it yourself. Just have all the documentation you have talked about here and I can’t imagine you would have a problem. Federal law dictates what the district has to do. Here is a link that outlines the steps. http://www.cde.state.co.us/spedlaw/download/2011ProceduralSafeguards.pdf
Jennie B says
Have you tried filing a complaint with the state board of education? At this point I would be afraid to send my kid to either school for all the bad blood that’s between you. Definitely get a lawyer. And research non public schools. They have to find you an appropriate placement so Perhaps if they think they are going to have to pay for a private school they might back down.
I’d encourage you not to say another word anywhere without a lawyer.
Teresa (Farmer) Rowan says
Sam,
I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I am a teacher, and I feel sick to my stomach that educators would treat a child and his family this way. I don’t know any fancy lawyers but many of my facebook friends are teachers, special education teachers, and school district personnel that may read and know of someone who might help. In the meantime, I’ll ask around, and I will certainly pray for resolution for your family.
Teresa
GrandeMocha says
Education is their #1 job. If they don’t want to do their job, they need to leave.
Betsy MacMichael says
hi, my heart goes out to you. I went through years of hateful IEP’s. Oh god. My kid is now 20 and you do survive and my blessings go out to give you energy and fortitude to keep fighting, and keep sane. My daughter does not have autism, but she has very significant CP and visual impairment, and we fought like hell for many years. Keep it up. You are not alone.
elaina rodriguez says
Dontive up, don’t give in, your son has the right to safely attend school and the school system has an obligation to provide such! Fight, fight, fight this you have my support!
Peter Rabover says
Don’t give up. Teachers/educators like to think of themselves as heros but in reality they are just petty and small people. You are better than them. All of them.
val says
I have a friend who has an autistic child and yes they do have special needs and I feel it would be in your son, Jack’s, best interest to be in a school that deals specifically with and is equipped for special needs children. They know no boundaries and are prone to runoff not knowing that it could lead to danger for them. I pray that Jack will be able to get back into Kohl where he is safe and where you & your wife can rest assured that he is safe and out of harm. However I would suggest requesting a different teacher if at all possible so that the teacher is not prone to take her frustration and anger with you & your wife out on Jack.
Valess says
Parents of Autistic children face so many challenges, schools need to be more understanding! This is silly. Why on earth wouldn’t they just build a fence when they should have one regardless of Jack.
Tiffany says
I don’t understand why a school would not have a fence. I have worked at several in orange county and all were completely fenced. This is a safety issue for all of the kids, so while it is imperative for Jack, a fence certainly would benefit all students. You definitely need a lawyer! This Cathy Brigham person should find another line of work. Clearly she hasn’t got a clue. Sadly, there is a lot of laziness in education and it is a shame that this horrible farce of an educator can’t behave in a more professional manner! Hang in there! As always, I am in awe of yours (and Tiffany’s) determination and strength.
Tiffany says
The more I think about, the angrier I get! This district has to be violating the Americans with Disabilities Act. The aren’t providing him accommodations necessary for him to have access to the same education afforded to other children. If he elopes and they will not accommodate this then it violates the ADA.
Check out this website. I don’t know if they can help, but maybe they know someone who can:
http://www.thelegalcenter.org/
Kayla Hamman says
Hi Sam,
I’m Jared Hammans wife. I first want to say I am so sorry that you guys have been through so much. I can’t even imagine the frustration and sadness over the regression and the lack of support you have had from the school. I have a question, do you have an advocate? If not I know of someone who is great and who will fight for Jack. She doesn’t mess around. We are here to support you guys in any way we can. I am praying for you guys and for your grandpa.
-Kayla
Tiffany Felsenfeld says
BASICALLY, IT’S LIKE THIS- the store promoted a product to us. We bought it, and when we got home with our product and took it out of the box, it was nothing like the marketing said it was. We tried to return it and the manager said, “No refunds.” On top of that, they 86’d us from their store because we complained about their poorly made product. Oh, and the owners of the company, allowed their stock boy to do all of their decision making for them.