I was prepared to write about keeping focused during the ups and downs of a long, difficult mission, and I had a perfect example to talk about. But Jack’s struggling right now, and I’m too distracted to write about anything other than him. Poor little dude is having a really rough go right now.
First a real quick introduction in case you’re not aware of who me and Jack are and what we’re doing. Jack is my 6 1/2 year old son and he’s severely autistic. I’m a runner and I’m planning on running 60 marathons this year to help raise money and awareness for Train 4 Autism, a wonderful charity I’m a part of and that I believe in.
That being said, for the past couple of weeks, Jack’s been in a lot of pain. It seems like it’s been his stomach, but it’s tough to tell, because his verbal communication is very, very limited. On top of that, when he gets frustrated or upset, he punches himself in the head, which leads to headaches. It’s a vicious cycle, which has led to long days filled with meltdowns, plus long nights in which he’s been waking up crying.
For the past couple of years, we’ve suspected that Jack has various internal/digestive problems. We’ve gone to several specialists to try to get an answer, but we haven’t gotten reasonable conclusions from anybody. In the midst of these problems recently, we went to his pediatrician to try to find answers and she sent us for some x-rays of his body. That procedure was Friday morning.
On Friday night, while Tiff and I were eating dinner in Catalina, we got a call from the pediatrician, who let us know why he was in so much pain. He’s very badly constipated (like VERY badly), which is causing the pain. We have about week’s worth of things to do to help him through this, and it’s going to be a very difficult, trying process. Tiff was pretty upset, but it was pretty easy for me to see the positive side to this. First, at least we knew what was causing the pain. And even better, we knew it was nothing permanent. He’ll be through this in a week.
We started with the milk of magnesia and some laxatives, plus some adjustments to his diet, and he’s getting better, but he was laying on the ground crying tremendous pain last night. It was so upsetting to see him like that. As I watched Benjamin and Ava playing together and having fun, I was just thinking, “What did Jack do to deserve this existence?” He doesn’t get to play much, he’s in school and/or therapy seven days a week, he gets upset because he can’t fully communicate, and he’s frequently in pain. What kind of life is my little guy living? How truly happy or upset is he?
I was looking at him as he was struggling last night. He’s not the only disabled child I know and I feel so bad for kids who don’t get a fair shake. It made me start thinking about next year. I’m not doing this 60-marathon thing again. But if I have enough people rallying together to make a difference, I’m kind of starting to wonder what I want to do, because I know I’ll want to keep the momentum rolling. I want to do something and help somebody if I can. Maybe it’ll be a pretty heavy effort (just not every weekend away) to continue to help Train 4 Autism grow.
Or maybe Train 4 Autism will be fulling rolling the way I hope and I can also help towards another great cause. There are plenty of bad things in this world and I know I’ll be fighting something.
Anyways, that’s what was on my mind last night when I started to write. I had something in mind that I was going to write, but I really couldn’t focus because I was too upset about Jack. And as I looked at him, and saw a sweet, innocent little boy suffer, it made me realize how happy I am now that I’m using my running to help kids who need help. I’ve thought about next year and talked a tiny bit about next year in very broad, vague terms to some people, but I guess I’ll just throw it out there in writing that I’m going to continue to try to capitalize on whatever I can build this year to help out next year.
So, that’s all I have for today. Sometimes the purpose of this blog is for you to live vicariously through the ding-dong who’s running 60 marathons. Well, that’s what’s on my mind today. And my quads still hurt from Saturday. I took a rest day again today.
Have a great Tuesday everybody! Wear your green tomorrow!
Jamie Fellrath says
And that’s the most frustrating thing about autism or any sort condition like this: no one who gets it deserves it. It’s suffering for no reason. That’s why we’re all so grateful to you, Tiff, and your family for the sacrifices you’re making to help EVERYONE.
Alicia Verburg says
I’m sorry it’s been a rough couple of weeks for little Jack. Praying for you guys…
Jennifer Swain says
I hate to hear he’s having such a rough time. It’s so hard to watch your kids be in pain & even worse to not be able to help them. I’m so glad you guys were able to find out what’s causing the pain & fix it. Sending lots of prayers.
Melissa G says
I’m sorry Jack is going through the tummy issues, but I’m really glad you guys got it figured out so quickly. Hopefully once he’s feeling better he may stop hitting himself. We will be praying for him.
Katie Abdolhosseini says
So sorry it’s been rough for Jack and you and Tiff. I can’t imagine how helpless you can feel. And you’re right – it makes no sense Jack got dealt this had of cards, but he did luck out in the parent category – you guys are amazing. Keep up the good work and I hope Jack feels better soon! 🙂
Jen Morgan says
I’m sorry it’s been rough but thank goodness you’ve found out what the problem is!!! That is so great and hopefully this will lead to better days soon!
Glenn Jones says
Sam – you are doing more than most to bring attention to this debilitating condition. Who knows what next year will bring – but last year at this time did you know what this year was going to be?
You are moving in the right direction. Keep it going and have faith. Your path will appear clearer than you would ever think….
Melissa G says
I heard this song today and thought of you & Jack. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7elxC8LXfzE
Sherry Pratt says
I am praying for you all and especially Jack….
Todd Zankich says
You asked “why?” once, and nobody knows why. In life, tragedy is the only only thing guaranteed to us. The rest, all the good stuff like happiness, love, fun, these are the things we have to create for ourselves. And I think you are doing that well. Your and Tiff’s responsibilities are unfathomable to me, yet you still exceed them to a degree which redoubles that level of unfathomability. If I could figure out where you get that much energy, I would probably just do something stupid like blow up Mars. (That would be so cool!)