Operation Jack

Fighting autism, one mile at a time.

I Love Doing Dishes!

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I have a serious, serious problem. It’s getting worse by the day and it’s not normal. I went off the deep end this weekend, going to three different stores looking for that perfect little something to cure my fix.

Quick little bit that I always put in here that’s unrelated to me doing dishes: I fight autism willingly because my son Jack has no choice — he is 9 and severely autistic. I’ve done the best I can to raise money over the past three years. My foundation (Operation Jack Autism Foundation) and marathon (Operation Jack Marathon) have brought in more than $150K. Click here for a quick video and brief summary about Operation Jack.

Ok, elevator pitch over. Dishes. I’ve really started to like doing dishes. And I don’t know why. This problem has been building over the past month and it got really bad this weekend.

We didn’t have a stopper for our kitchen sink and I went all over Broomfield, Colo. looking for one. I looked all over at Wal-Mart and didn’t find one. I went to Safeway and they had a few different options. I didn’t like any of them, so I left. I was trying to decide whether I should hit up Target or go to a hardware store as I continued my quest.

I came up on Home Depot, so that was my answer. They had a few different options and I saw one I liked. It was $5.98, about $3.50 more than the one at Safeway I passed up on, but I was fine with the price. This one was better. This one is all mine now.

I should name my stopper. Maybe I’ll name it Mariano — if you’re a baseball fan, you’d understand … best stopper of all time.

I busted it out for the first time on Saturday night and I loved it. No more turning the water on and off while I wash dishes. I can keep the faucet on, wash while I fill the sink and power through the process of making my dishes awesome.

I even got up from the couch while watching the Notre Dame – USC game on Saturday night to spend some quality time in the kitchen (don’t worry — I was still able to see game from there).

I love that stopper. It’s my new best friend. Yesterday, my wife Tiffany left with our daughter Ava to go have lunch. A little while later, when me and the boys were done with lunch, I took those dishes, as well as the ones from breakfast, and took care of business. Then I sent Tiff this text:

She didn’t reply.

Later on Sunday afternoon, Tiff did some dishes while I was out front hanging Christmas lights. I wasn’t happy about that and I let her know.

But I suspect we’ll all eat again today. And tomorrow. And I’ll get another chance to do some dishes. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m sure I’ll get over this in no time flat. For now, though, I’m loving my stopper, my sink and my dirty dishes.

I’m Obviously Not An Engineer

Speaking of those Christmas lights I was hanging yesterday, I’m … well, I don’t even know the word. I was hanging the lights up and I think I did a better job than I ever did back when we lived in California.

For starters, I didn’t freak out when I got on the ladder. I’m deathly afraid of heights. I don’t even like standing on my tiptoes. Many times in the past, Tiff has hung the lights because she doesn’t mind getting on the ladder. But I decided I was gonna get this done and that would be that.

Armed with my staple gun, five sets of lights, my 6-foot painting ladder and my neighbor’s super-crazy-tall-get-you-up-to-20-feet-high ladder, I set out to get this done. And I did.

I got them hung up and strung out. I got a late start (thanks to Tiff) and it was dark and cold by the time I was done. But I got them done! I never looked down, I never got scared (except for once) and I didn’t break anything.

I also couldn’t find a plug when all was said and done.

Both ends of the string of lights had a female end. NO PLUG! I looked along the entire line a few times and couldn’t find it. There was one spot where two sets of lights were joined and that spot was covered in duct tape from a previous year. I was starting to think that there was a plug that was plugged into the back of an extension that had a plug on the other side.

I was starting to get convinced that I was going to have to take down all the lights before I could even turn them on, then re-connect them and re-hang them. I was not looking forward to this in the least bit.

I needed to go to the grocery store last night and on the way out of the front door before I got in my car, I decided to take one more look at the lights. I followed it very carefully from end to end. And then, right there in the dark, there it was! (Thank goodness for the flashlight app on my phone, by the way.) The plug! I found it! And it was in a spot that would make it pretty easy and reasonable to run an extension cord from!

I ran into the house and was super excited and told Tiff, “I found the plug!!!!!”

And she said, “Have you still not gone to the grocery store?”

But she was happy that I found the plug. I think. I wasn’t explaining the problem very clearly because she had asked me if I just needed another extension cord. After I went to the store and came back, I ran the cord, plugged it in and saw the glow I was wanting to see.

We’re not the Griswolds, but we have lights!

Let there be light!

Tiff was happy. I was happy. And I don’t have to hang Christmas lights until next year. YES!

Jack Update

If you’ve been coming here recently, you know that we’re having some troubles getting Jack into school. Here’s some backstory. I’m not going to get into a lot of details right now, because we just spent a week out of school and I need to get back in the swing of things and find out what’s going on.

But FINALLY, Jack has a lawyer. It’s a shame that we have to go to this extent to get him safely into public school, but I’ll always do what I have to do for my son and I’ll never apologize for fighting for what he deserves.

And that’s all for Monday. Do you do dishes? Do you hang Christmas lights? Will Jack be in school before January? See you back here the next time I post. Have a great day!

Best Age Group Awards Ever!

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Time flies when you’re you’re spending every spare second of your existence fighting to get your son in school. That’s been the story of my life since September and all of a sudden the calendar says we’re in November? That means there’s maybe five or six weeks left until the 3rd annual Operation Jack Marathon (it’s December 26, whenever that is).

The race is a great event that benefits Train 4 Autism, a charity I’m proud to be a part of, even though I’ve kind of fallen off the face of the earth with an incredibly difficult year. Side note, but totally related, if you don’t know the how and why of how I fight autism, please take a quick look.

Anyways, the point of this post is to show off the age-group awards we’re going to have at the Operation Jack Marathon this year. I am so excited about them. When I saw the pictures, I had a very simple reply to my committee:

WOW. WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW.

In previous years, we’ve had trophies for overall winners. I don’t think we did age group awards, but we decided to do that this year. Rather than order trophies, though, I had a proposal for the committee that is doing an awesome job putting on the race (despite me!). I had an idea for a different type of award that would be incredibly appropriate for the mission of our race.

First, some quick backstory. In 2010, my 3rd marathon of the 61 I ran for Operation Jack was in Mobile, Alabama, and it benefitted a charity called L’Arche Mobile, which is basically an organization of group homes for mentally disabled adults in the Mobile area. I love good causes, and this one hits really close to home for me because my son Jack might end up with a similar organization when he’s an adult.

The age-group awards for that race in Mobile were hand-painted canvases (around 6″ x 8″) made by residents of the homes and on the back, there were bios of the person who made the painting. I was fortunate enough to take second or third in my age group and take home my own canvas. I love it — I’ve age-grouped somewhere around 30 times in marathons and that canvas is the only award I’ve earned that’s on display in my house and not in a box somewhere in the basement.

I love it, simple as that.

I asked my committee what they thought about us contracting with L’Arche Mobile to have their residents paint canvases that we could use as our age-group awards. The way I see it, I’d much rather our awards budget go to a charity that’s right in line with what we’re fighting for. Plus, I think it adds a great touch to the event and a great reminder to all the participants about why we’re putting on the race.

Not surprisingly, I got unanimous agreement immediately. I contacted L’Arche Mobile, they were interested and long story not any longer, they arrived late last week!

They actually arrived in California and since I’m in Colorado, I’ve only seen pictures. But I love them. Here they are:

Front …
Close-up of award description …
Bio on the back …

I’m biased, but I am super, super, super excited about these. I think they’re unique, they have a special touch, plus they’re a visual reminder of everything we’re all about at Train 4 Autism, helping small autism-related charities and making the world a better place one small step at a time.

I’m not going to win one of these awards. But I’m going to be very excited for the people who do.

Three Things Thursday: Still Fighting For Jack

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Three Things Thursday, here we go. I love these, because they’re so easy to write. Standard “if you’ve never been here before” plug about Operation Jack: If you’ve never been here before, check out what Operation Jack is and what’s driven me to pour every spare moment I’ve had over the past several years into fighting autism.

1. We’re still fighting to get Jack in school. Lots of behind-the-scenes stuff going on right now. I’ll have more of an update on Monday. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s the backstory.

I love this little guy. And I’ll never stop fighting for him.

2. LA AREA RUNNERS (OR NON-RUNNERS): A friend of mine named Bobby is putting on a low-key 10K at the same spot as the Operation Jack Marathon this Saturday. If you’re in the area, it supports a great cause as it benefits the families of troops killed in action. The event, the 1st Annual Sean’s Run, is named after Bobby’s friend Sean Brock, who was killed in the line of duty in Iraq on February 2, 2005.

3. ALL RUNNERS: Check out the Operation Jack Marathon … rates are going up soon. Benefits a great cause, of course. We also have events in Kansas City and Houston on December 29 that I’m going to get up on the site at some point today or tonight. I’ve been busy with Jack’s issues and slacking off with everything else lately. Drop me a line at sam@operationjack.org if you want me to let you know when those are up and I will.

OK, that’s three. Have a great weekend! Go K-State!

Nov. 8: Still No School For Jack To Go To

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If you’ve been following my blog lately, you know we’re fighting like mad to get Jack in school. If you’ve never been here, then I need to do my quick standard introduction.

Jack is my 9-year-old son. He’s severely autistic. Still in diapers. Operation Jack, the name of this site, is also the name of the foundation I created to try to make the world a better place to make some good out of what he goes through. PLEASE CLICK HERE and see how we’ve brought in about $150K in the past three years through Operation Jack and the Operation Jack Marathon.

Jack likes to elope, which means he likes to run away when he gets the chance. He’s a danger to himself. We have a handicap parking placard because he’s a danger to himself in and near parking lots. And he’s currently assigned to a school named Ryan that has a playground that’s unfenced and attached to a parking lot that flows into a fairly busy street.

The school is about 6 miles away from our house and we feel completely unsafe with him there. My wife and I would be sick to our stomachs dropping him off every day. He started there September 26, and we never left him without either my wife or members of his home therapy team, but we just didn’t feel safe with him there. So we pulled him after he attended on September 28. I don’t know who puts an program for children with low-functioning autism at a school with an unfenced playground — 49 percent of children with autism attempt to elope. Actually, the district’s chief academic officer told me the school meets the school district’s definition of a true autism program, but that’s a conversation for another day.

We wanted him back at Kohl, where he would be safe and where the district was going to assign him a 1-on-1 para-professional they were hiring specifically for him, but we had to go through an administrative transfer process. The principal would sign the form and Jack would be in a safe school. But the principal wouldn’t sign the form. She said that despite the fact that we were begging and pleading to let Jack back in Kohl, she said we said we were unhappy with their programming and wanted a true autistic program.

She never would give me an on-the-record meeting to answer questions about her decision and she never would answer why she was putting so much weight into Tiff’s alleged request in August while dismissing what Tiff begged for in October. The assistant superintendent who signed off on that decision cited the same thing about what my wife said, although he never talked to either of us before making his decision. He also wouldn’t give us an on-the-record meeting.

We appealed to the district’s chief academic officer and lost that appeal. I wasn’t surprised. I won’t waste a lot of time getting into the details of that meeting, but a lot of what she said made me think she really didn’t have a lot of insight into the situation because of contradictions with timelines and what other people have said on audio. For instance, when I asked her why Jack was allowed to start the school year at Kohl but not allowed to return, she said, “the more the staff at Kohl got to know Jack, the more they realized Tiffany was right.” The funny thing is, Jack never actually attended Kohl after May. And Tiffany made her alleged comments in August*.

* I’ve asked five people for written documentation or audio of what Tiff’s actual request was, but nobody has provided it to me.

All of our appeals have been denied, and we were told by the assistant superintendent that the Kohl staff feels “slighted” by us and the chief academic officer said the principal at Kohl said she’s “done with us,” so it sure does seem like they’re unhappy with what my wife said. I’m not going to post the audio of what went down in August yet, but it reasonable for an IEP — Tiffany was upset that she removed the behavior plan from his IEP considering Jack has serious target behaviors! But heck, if you’re not gonna let Jack back in school because you have a beef with his mom, stand up and say so!

I love these two people more than words can describe in a caption.

So anyways, we had to go through some rigorous IEP meetings. That’s where you go through and decide what is appropriate for the student. At a meeting on October 31, the IEP team agreed that he needed to be on a playground that was surrounded by a fence with minimal openings. Then on Tuesday (November 6), the IEP team agreed that it was appropriate for Jack to be on the grade-level playground for his recesses. It’s not appropriate for him to be on a pre-K playground, which was the initial solution.

These are both true, and this is what we’ve been saying all along, and at least we’re finally documenting it through the process. The IEP is not school-specific and if a school can’t meet the student’s needs, then the student can be transferred and that’s independent of the administrative transfer process we were going through.

So FINALLY! The IEP will get Jack in a safe school! But a funny thing happened. The IEP team REMOVED THE PORTION SAYING JACK NEEDS TO BE ON A PLAYGROUND THAT’S FENCED IN!

Now, here are a few things that were covered in the meeting:
– The teacher at Ryan said he elopes inside.
– The teacher at Kohl said Jack elopes inside.
– We had a letter from Jack’s teacher from September 2010 through March 2012 who stated Jack elopes inside and outside.
– The teacher at Ryan said Jack likes to run when he gets outside.
– Jack has a handicap parking placard because doctors think he’s such a danger to elope that holding his parent’s hand while walking through a parking lot is too much of a danger for him.
– BUT, the teacher at Kohl, who seems to have a definite interest in Jack staying assigned to Ryan, said that Jack doesn’t elope on the playground.

Apparently, despite years of eloping outside, starting in March, when he gets outside on a playground (but not anywhere else outside), he doesn’t like to run! And he still likes to run outside, but we’re not really sure if he’s going to elope again so we have to see if he’s going to elope again. Yeah, that makes sense.

So, despite everything else, and solely because the teacher at Kohl said Jack doesn’t elope on the playground, the team pulled the part about the fence out of the IEP!

There were eight educators in there. I asked a hypothetical question, “How many of you would be willing to sign a contract saying you’d give $100K to a trust fund for Jack, quit your job and never again work in education if he eloped from the playground at Ryan and got injured?” There were zero hands in the air. Of course nobody would put their career where their mouth was, but they expected us to put our son’s life where their mouth was.

Despite my objections, they pulled it out. I told them how disgusted I was that they were doing that to fit an agenda. My wife lost it. Here’s an audio clip. PLEASE SPEND 2:17 TO LISTEN TO THIS. IT’S CRITICAL.

The principal and the teacher were right there and heard this. And despite this, they still won’t let Jack in Kohl. About a minute or so after this, the teacher got catty and passive-aggressive with my wife and basically started telling her it was her fault for what she said in August. That made me even more certain that this is all because of something personal the teacher has against my wife.

My wife was so upset and hysterical. When she gets upset, I get even more upset. I don’t like seeing her cry. And I hate when my little Jack gets wronged and he sits there innocently, regressing, not even know how his future is being harmed.

We’ve tried everything. We’ve fought through so many appeals it’s killing us. We wasted money on an advocate who got us nowhere. We spent money on a consultation with a lawyer and wanted to retain him, but he never followed up so we’re trying like mad in the midst of all of this to find another one.

But on the car ride home from the meeting, Tiff was still hysterical. She was so upset. She can’t take what this process is doing to her any more. She can’t take what it’s doing to Jack and to her and to me and to our other two kids. It’s killing us.

I’m a protective husband and father and I’m coming out swinging. I’m not going to let one teacher ruin my wife’s Colorado dream. Ironically, a big part of why she wanted to move here is for some peace to counter the stress Jack’s autism brings to us. She loves it here and she’s not going to be chased away. I will defend my wife until my final day.

I want to launch a social media campaign. I want to try to tap into every connection I have to spread the word about this. It’s my last resort. I want to use everything I learned about social media during my Operation Jack year to try to fight this war.

I was so furious and upset about how upset Tiff was. She went upstairs when we got home to cry herself to sleep. She doesn’t deserve this. She’s an amazing mom who fights for her disabled child and what is right for him. Every child should be so lucky to have a mom like her.

So I went on Facebook:

I went on Twitter.

I communicated with a few folks on Twitter.

People were reaching out.

And I specifically called out the teacher. Operation Jack 2.0, if social media/media warfare is my last option, then that’s what it’s going to be. As any of you who have been around since I was running all those races in 2010 know, I don’t set small goals. And I love my family.

Kind of out of character for me to go with profanity there, but when my wife is upset, I’m upset. Hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have tweeted that. But this whole thing is so ridiculous, all stemming from denying my autistic son into school over a beef with his mama. There’s no good reason Jack can’t be back in a safe school instead of sitting at home and they’ve fought this so hard the whole way. This is how this has snowballed.

Yesterday, I got a call from the principal at Kohl who said me and Tiff aren’t allowed into the building at Kohl any more. She said Cathy (the teacher) fears for her safety and if I’m going to be threatening her on Twitter, we’re not allowed in her building. Our second-grade daughter goes to school there, so I guess we’ll drop her off and pick her up outside until this is resolved.

Now, I don’t really think they feared for her safety. I’m not a violent person. Haven’t been in a fight since the 8th grade. And if you look at my timeline (which they obviously did), it’s very clear that I was talking about social media warfare. The police haven’t contacted me. Nothing has been filed against me in court.

It seems like just like with Jack’s situation there, there’s no regard for reality or truth or process in my situation.

Something that clued me that safety isn’t really the concern was that when the principal was talking to me on the phone yesterday she told me she wasn’t going to let me back in until I stopped making social media attacks against the teacher. That’s the real issue.

Now, somebody correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t comments on social media protected by the first amendment? There are limits, such as libel. But the initial reason for the first amendment was to make sure that you always have the right to speak out against the government if you think it’s acting unjustly. That’s what’s going on here. And I’m not going to sit idly by and let a principal attempt to suppress my first amendment rights as I fight what her school is doing to my disabled son.

So, if you’ve gotten all the way down here, PLEASE do me a favor. I really, really need you to help me pass this around. Facebook, Twitter, please share it! I have a meeting today with the superintendent and I’m confident we’re going to get this resolved. But just in case, if you’re interested in helping Jack get in school, leave a comment or drop me an email at sam@operationjack.org. PLEASE share this on Facebook and Twitter. I need as many eyes as possible. Maybe the right special-needs lawyer will see it. Or maybe the right first-amendment lawyer will see it.

Oh, and pray for my Grandpa Milton. He’s probably my favorite person in the world and he’s not doing well. I love him to death and worrying about him right now makes this stuff with Jack seem like child’s play.

That’s all I have for today. Have a nice weekend …[subscribe2]

A Special Day For Two Big Reasons

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Today is November 7. For just about everybody in this country, it’s the day after the elections are FINALLY over. After another day or two of gloats and complaints, our Facebook feeds are going back to normal! For me, though, it’s November 7. That date stares out at me for two big reasons.

Quick plug: If you’ve never been here, CLICK HERE to see what Operation Jack is. PLEASE!!!

1. It’s the day I broke my neck back in 1991.

I could have been paralyzed, but I wasn’t. It’s something that I feel defines my life, because if I would have been paralyzed, I would have never met Tiffany and had Benjamin, Jack and Ava. I wouldn’t have any of the memories I have from the past 21 years. 18 years with Tiffany, 11+ years as a parent, college, the marathons, the football games, the cross-country drives, the friends I’ve met and the places I’ve been and the things I’ve done.

I would have spent my life in a wheelchair, either living at home with the folks or in some kind of home. Every time I get home from a run, I thank God for sparing those legs. Good or bad, I’m grateful to have the ability to get out there and have the use of them. It’s never lost on me. And today, I replay that day back in 1991 in my mind all day long.

It happened when I got pushed head-first into the shallow end of a swimming pool at school, kind of a freak accident. Accidents happen, and fortunately for me, life went on. I still feel soreness in my neck and it gets pretty bad when it gets cold. I just had a pretty bad few days a couple of weeks ago and it hurt really bad, but that’s just life now. In hindsight, I don’t think I would go back in time and change the way things happened. I mean, I guess I’d rather not have broken my neck, but it’s shaped my mindset and my path and I am where I’m supposed to be so I won’t dwell. I honestly don’t think I ever look back and wish it didn’t happen.

But it was November 7, 1991. So today, I’ll have my traditional McDonald’s lunch. My dad brought me Chicken McNuggets when I was in the hospital. Back then, I had to wait a year to have caffeine or chocolate per my doctors, so on November 7, 1992, I went to McDonald’s and got myself Chicken McNuggets, a hot fudge sundae and a Coke. Now, I do that every year. I go with my fam when I can. It gives me an opportunity to be grateful for what I have, to be always mindful of the fact that God was looking after me that day.

Me, circia 11/10/1991.

2. It’s the day we got Jack’s autism diagnosis back in 2006

Jack, my 9-year-old son, is severely autistic. Still in diapers, really not talking, self-injurious behavior — it’s tough on him and tough on the rest of the family. It really is something that defines all five of us, starting with him, then my wife, then me and then my other two kids. It impacts us all day, every day.

It’ll never go away for me, Jack and Tiffany. It’s a life sentence, and it officially started six years ago today. I won’t lie and say we don’t wish it never happened. We wish it never happened. And we know he wasn’t born this way, that he’s going to be fighting his vaccine injuries for the rest of his life. He had horrendous meltdowns until 9:30 last night, punching himself in the head and slamming his body around.

Unlike breaking my neck, this is something I wish hadn’t happened. I would undo this if I could. It’s a huge test of faith for us to accept this, even though we know we have to.

Side note on Jack: He’s still not in school. We had a horrendous IEP meeting yesterday. I’ll explain more about that tomorrow. Here’s some prior information on that. Here’s an audio clip of Tiff from yesterday’s meeting:

She said this to the teacher and principal who are refusing to let Jack back into the safe school. Even after this, they still stand by their position that they’re not letting Jack back in based on what Tiff said in August. I listened to the audio of the August exchange that the teacher is so mad about … I’m going to post it tomorrow. Wait until you hear what this is all about!

Anyways, I’m done rambling. It’s November 7. I’m going to make the most of it.