Operation Jack

Fighting autism, one mile at a time.

Weekend Recap: Highs And Lows

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Well, I figured I’d check in with a new blog to start the week. My blog is like my journal, I guess, and I had a draining weekend. There was good and there was bad, there was happy and there was sad. But wow, was it draining.

My weekend more-or-less started on Friday. On Thursday night, we got a phone call that Tiff’s grandma took a turn for the worse and we needed to get up and see her while we can. She’s been struggling for a while, but she’s being moved into hospice care. Tiff hadn’t seen her in six months and I hadn’t seen her in eight and she looked like she had aged 10 years. She looked very tired and barely coherent.

It was tough to see her at this end-of-life stage. I’ve known her for 16 years and it’s so hard to see her the way she is now. I couldn’t tell if she recognized us or not, but I think she did. She’s lived a full life, but it’s still tough to watch the end of life on earth for somebody. I just hope any pain she’s feeling is alleviated.

On Saturday, I went to a memorial service for a friend of mine who died from cancer at age 45 a week ago. It was an amazing service, but it was a tough one to sit through. It was hard to see her son go up there, as well has her father and her grandfather. I saw friends at the reception afterwards, but for about 20 minutes, I was to drained to even talk. I just stood next to them silently, apologizing for not having anything to say. Eventually when we drove home, the first song we heard when we turned on the radio was Live Like You’re Dying by Tim McGraw. It was pretty chilling.

I was in a funk the rest of the day, but I eventually made my way down to the Surf City expo with my oldest son, Benjamin, to pick up my stuff for the marathon. He had fun carrying around my 3:40 pacing stick and I was teasing him, telling people he was going to be the marathon pacer. “But daddy, I’m only 9!”

I really don’t remember much about Saturday night, other than I know I was pretty sad reading what my friends were writing about the memorial service on Facebook. I ran a couple of errands and heard this song and I liked it:

Sunday morning, I got up and paced the 3:40 group at the Surf City Marathon. That was fun, a nice release. It’s always fun to help people reach their goals. I felt pretty good with how I ran, going 3:39:49 and catching a lot of praise from the folks in my group. They were happy with the consistent race I ran. In my perfectionist way of thinking, I’m kind of bummed with how I ran the last 2/10 of a mile. I think mile marker 26 was off a bit and even though I knew I was about four seconds ahead of pace for the race, I thought I might have been eight seconds back. So I surged a bit just to make sure I didn’t finish slow.

The race I ran for the first 26 miles would have netted me about a 3:39:57 if I would have held pace, but I ended up 11 seconds fast instead. Really, it was a good job pacing. But in my perfectionist ways of approaching pacing, I blew it late.

Anyways, we had a few friends over to watch the Super Bowl, the kids had a blast and even though I burned 4,222 calories running the marathon, I ate way too much the rest of the day. I was pulling for the Packers because my friend who died was a Packers fan. I’ve never really liked them, but I’ve been pulling for them this season and I was glad to see them come through. Oh, and I won my 23rd annual Super Bowl bet with my grandma. I took the Packers and gave her 2.5 points. My prize? She’s going to treat my wife to a manicure. Somehow, I’m not so sure I won anything.

So that was it, I guess. Quite a contrast to my weekends from last year. I ran a marathon, my first of the year, but I got to spend a lot of time with the family and live my own life. It was kind of nice — is that what everybody normally does?

Groundhog Day: A Blog And A Marathon This Weekend

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Long time no blog! I haven’t posted in 13 days, but I have some things I want to post and my wife is watching some reality housewives brain-killing show, so this is as good a time as any to write an update.

Real quick, just in case you’ve never been here before, I’m a father of three and a marathoner. My middle child, 7-year-old Jack, is severely autistic. Last year, in his honor, I ran 61 full marathons to raise money and awareness for a charity I’m a part of called Train 4 Autism. I named the endeavor Operation Jack after my superstar. All told, we grossed more than $88,000 and brought a lot of people into the charity. So, I’d call it a success.

So anyways, moving along …

Heartbreaking …
I don’t really want to make other people’s business public. So I’ll just say that a friend of mine named Sue went to Heaven Sunday after a battle with cancer. I’m heartbroken for her husband and kids. I’m really impressed with how he seems to be doing. I’m inspired by him and I admire his strength. Praying for them is something I do every morning before I get out of bed, it’s something I do every night before I go to bed, and it’s something I do throughout the day.

I’m going to raise money for a cancer charity this fall. What I do will probably take the place of the fall marathon I was planning on racing. It’s a small sacrifice I have no problems making.

What To Do?
Last night, out of the blue, my wife Tiffany told me I should consider running a 100-miler as a charity endeavor. That’s not a bad idea, because really, I have to do something more than just a marathon now. I was thinking about the Tahoe Triple. That’s three days of running, a marathon on Friday morning, a marathon on Saturday morning and then a 72-mile ultramarathon starting at 10 p.m. on the Saturday night. All three of those races are on rolling hills at elevations varying between 6300 and 7100 feet.

I think I could raise money either way. What sounds tougher — 26.2, 26.2, 72, or 100? Or do you have any other ideas? Maybe a 24-hour race and I collect pledges based on miles completed, really forcing me to push on. Let me know what you think.

Jack Update
We’ve still been putting Jack through his supplement routine. He had been out of control for a a few weeks — bouncing off the walls, chewing everything in sight, waking up way too early — we were pulling our hair out. But my mother-in-law noticed Vitamin B levels in one of the new supplements and they were high. B gives you energy, and it was obvious that Jack had way too much. So, we took him off of that and he calmed down within a day.

It’s so nice to see him calm and happier as a result of not going stir-crazy, but it’s so sad to think that the restlessness was caused by that Vitamin B. We try our best with him. This is a very difficult, inexact science that’s challenging for the parents and the children. Autism sucks, which is why I did what I did last year.

I take Jack to school every morning. It’s fun — we have an arrangement with the teachers and I bring him about 20 minutes late so that I can walk him back to his classroom. I go through his routine with him when he gets to his room, I see him off to the playground, I update his teachers with whatever information they need to know and then I head off to work. It’s a nice little routine that I really enjoy.

I’m Running A Marathon This Weekend!
Nothing major, but I’m one of two 3:40 pacers at the Surf City Marathon this Sunday. It’s the sixth time I’ve been an official pacer, the third time at this race. It’s a lot of fun helping people run a good race. I really, really enjoy it.

Awesome Video
I don’t know what to say other than I loved this video. I got a fair amount of coverage last year and this is my favorite piece in any format, no question. My friend Billy Yang and his company High Gear Films put this together and I LOVED it. You have to watch it!

That’s All For Today
If I don’t write anything else this week, have a great weekend! Go Pack!

What To Do, What To Do?

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A few days ago, somebody asked me if I was getting antsy trying to figure out what to do on the weekends. No, not at all. I have a ton of things to do around the house, I’m having fun with the kids, I’m catching up on some sleep, I’m hanging out with my wife — it’s pretty nice! But I am getting antsy trying to figure out what to do for Train 4 Autism. I knew the end of Operation Jack would come, but I don’t want to stop fighting. So, here’s what I’m thinking about for this year. If you have input or suggestions, please leave a comment!

First, real quick, just in case you’ve never been here before, I’m a father of three and a marathon runner. My middle son, 7-year-old Jack, is severely autistic. I decided I wanted to something to try to make a difference. So, I ran 61 marathons last year to raise money and awareness for a charity I’m a part of called Train 4 Autism. I named the endeavor Operation Jack, after my son, and as a result of me doing what I did, more than $87,000 was grossed for multiple charities across the country.

That’s great, but it would be foolish to just throw away the base I’ve built and not continue to try to do good, right? A lot of people have asked what I’m going to do this year. Here’s what I’m thinking — let me know your thoughts!

ACT Today For Military Families 5K
If you followed along last year, you know I’m really big on the military. They’re my heroes. There’s a 5K in San Diego on April 2 that benefits military families who have children with autism. From what I know, and from the statistics I’ve seen, military families struggle compared to the civilian population when it comes to treating their children with autism. So, I’ll certainly be glad to help (and I’ll be looking for people in the San Diego area).

Utah Valley Marathon
I’m about 98 percent heading off to this one. I want to try to help build a couple of solid Train 4 Autism chapters this year, so I have to turn to where I have solid leaders. Alicia Verburg, who’s up in this area, fits that bill. Plus, the race did a good job working with Operation Jack and Train 4 Autism last year and it looks like they’ll do the same again this year. So, that’s June 11 up in Provo, Utah. It’s a great race and I’m looking forward to working with Alicia to build a strong team.

Mount Desert Island Marathon
Mount Desert Island is in Maine. I’m not sure where — I just know it’s in Maine. For a Southern California guy, that’s about as far away from home as you can get in the lower 48. But there’s a very strong chapter out there, led by Sarah Emerson and Danielle Sterling, that formed as a result of Operation Jack. They’ve been begging me to go since last April, so I’ll be there. It’s October 16, and I know they’re working on recruiting runners from all over the country. This one should be a lot of fun — I’ll be personally pacing Sarah through her first marathon and it should be a great weekend for Train 4 Autism.

Other Train 4 Autism Support
I had hoped to build an Orange County team for the Los Angeles Marathon, but I couldn’t get that going. I’ll still head up and work the booth, support Train 4 Autism, run the race with somebody if necessary, etc. In October, I’m sure I’ll run the Long Beach Marathon. That’s our biggest race and we always have a lot of people there. I’ll work hard to build a big Orange County contingency for that one.

TBD: Something To Fight Cancer
Autism is my cause. But that doesn’t mean there are other things in this world that suck. Cancer is one of those, and in the past week, it’s really hit home to me that I need to do something this year to fight cancer.

Last Friday, my dad had surgery because doctors found cancer in his bladder. This is the third time they’ve found it and removed it since 2004. He also had something called a chemo flush on Friday. I have no idea what that means, but hopefully it helps him in the long term. On one hand, there’s no joy in knowing your dad has had cancer three times in seven years. But I’m grateful for the doctors and technology that found it and took care of him. He would have died a long time ago if not for that.

On the flip side of this, though, is a friend of mine from my church group named Sue. I really want to respect her privacy, and the privacy of her family and not discuss too much here. But if you’re the type who prays, please pray for her, her husband Jeff and their kids right now. They need strength and God’s healing touch. I’m pretty upset about this right now, and I’m going to do something in the fall — I’m not sure what — but I’m going to raise money to fight cancer. I have some things I’m thinking about, but I’m not sure exactly what I’m going to do. If you have any ideas, let me know. I want to make something happen.

Individual Running: Boston Marathon
I’m going to train to run my best for the Boston Marathon. It’s been about two years since I’ve really been able to train for a race to run it well, so I’m looking forward to this. At some point, I need to take some “me” time to regain some focus, right? I start my training cycle on Monday. We’ll see how it goes.

Individual Running: Lake Forest 5K
After Boston, I’ll train for the local July 4 5K. I’ve never trained for a 5K. I might as well see how that goes, right?

That’s All For 2011
A lot of you have asked what I’m doing this year and I think that sums it up. That should be enough to make myself useful, right? If you have any feedback, suggestions, ideas, etc., please let me know. And please, if you pray, please pray for Sue, Jeff and their kids. They need it right now.

Name Calling I Condone

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Back in 2001 when my first son was born, my wife spent four nights in the hospital recovering from her c-section. It was our home away from home for a little while. Over the course of four days, with tons of visitors, we accumulated a few things. When we left, we left something behind.

I don’t remember exactly what it was, but I remember going back to the hospital to get it. When I got there and small-talked with the nurses, I joked that they had forgotten to give us the owner’s manual for Benjamin. We were about a day into our new life, which was life at home taking care of a child. There was a lot of help in the hospital, but once you get home, you’re on your own. With the first child, that’s kind of scary! And I like to crack jokes, so I couldn’t resist asking for the manual, as if he was a car and there were simple instructions to take care of him.

We had no clue what we were doing, and in a way, I feel like we still don’t. We’ve taken it day-by-day from day one, adding a Jack into the recipe and then Ava. Jack’s autism has brought on even more twists and challenges for raising the other two, but we pray that we make the right decisions as we keep doing what we think is best for the kids on a daily basis.

Last week, we got a confirmation that we might be on the right track with a name Benjamin called a classmate. He was in an after-school chess program that he likes to go to. He’s actually starting to get pretty good. We’ve been playing for the past few years and he’s never come close to beating me. I rope-a-dope him, stringing out the game until bedtime and then putting the hammer down, executing a checkmate within a couple of moves.

I’m not competitive with my own son like that, but I want to challenge him so he’ll get better. Letting him win won’t help him. He finally beat me fair-and-square on Saturday. I beat him in a tight rematch, even though he accumulated two queens, but I know I need to bring my A game when I play him from now on!

Anyways, back to the name-calling. He was in an after-school chess program that he goes to every Monday. There’s another boy in there that he doesn’t get along with. Sometimes kids just don’t get along. They all have their individual personalities, and sometimes they clash. We’ve dealt with the issues between Benjamin and this child with the teacher, Tiff spoke to the mom once — it’s been an ongoing problem, one I definitely blame on the other child after last week’s incident.

I’m not sure what triggered this — from what I understand, it was something trivial and inconsequential. The boy told Benjamin, “I did your mom last night.” Benjamin was confused. So the boy continued, “Do you and your mom make babies?” Benjamin didn’t know what the boy was talking about, but he got angry and snapped.

“I don’t even know what that means, you … banana head!”

Now, I’m not totally OK with him calling other kids names. But I’m totally OK with him defending his mom. And if he must call another kid a name, let it be “banana head”! That’s the kind of thing a fourth-grader should be saying.

We still have a lot of things to work on with Benjamin. I’m sure the parents of every child in his class would say the same thing about their kids. But I’ve been pretty happy with the son we’re raising, and him calling another classmate a name confirmed my thoughts.

We never did get that owners manual, but so far, I think we’re doing OK.

Getting The Blues

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Last year at this time, I was getting ready to get the Blues — the Mississippi Blues Marathon. It was marathon No. 2 of 61 for the year, January 9 in Jackson. I’m getting the blues again, although this time I’m staying in California.

Just in case you’ve never been here before, I’m a father of three and a marathon runner. My middle child, 7-year-old Jack, is severely autistic. I ran 61 marathons last year to raise money and awareness for a charity I’m a part of called Train 4 Autism. It was a successful mission, ending on December 26 with the Operation Jack Marathon.

I suspected all along I’d get depressed when it all ended. I was so used to my routine of traveling, checking into dirtbag motels, running marathons, racing to the airport, writing my blogs, trying to raise money, etc. I figured I’d miss it. As exhausting and demanding as it was, and as difficult as it was to leave home so much, it was still fun to get out there and meet people and see things.

Eleven days removed from my last race, I don’t miss it at all. I have enough memories to last a lifetime and enough was enough. It’s nice not to travel and it’s nice to not have to get up and run a marathon because I “have to.” I’ve been getting back into training, running my 15-milers in the morning before work and eating more. I don’t miss what I was doing last year at all.

I come home from work, I don’t have a blog to write, I put my phone and my laptop down and I hang out with my family. It’s easier to spend time with the kids and I hang out with my wife at night, actually paying attention to the show we’re watching instead of just being there physically while I write a blog and make travel reservations and answer emails.

Yes, this new routine is nice. Really, really nice. I’m getting to be the me that I used to be.

So why am I depressed? Why am I getting the blues in California? I feel like I have nothing to do, as odd as that sounds. For 18 months, I pushed and pushed to get things done. I pushed to raise money and awareness for Train 4 Autism. I was banging my head against the wall and struggling for 18 months. I love a challenge and I never quit trying last year. Even after my last race, I still went after donations.

But now what? I feel like I have nothing to do, even though I’m doing a lot more in my personal life. Everybody who was talking to me is still talking to me, so it’s not like I’m getting ignored, but for some reason, I just feel like the world has tossed me
aside. It’s kind of tough to feel alone with nothing to do, but that’s where I’m at.

We go to Saddleback Church, which is Rick Warren’s church, and the message is very purpose-driven. I found a purpose last year and I loved it. I have a wife and three kids and I love them dearly. I love playing with my kids, spending time with my wife — you know, being a typical dad and husband. But for whatever weird reason, I just don’t feel much of a purpose right now. I don’t know if it’s wrong to think that taking care of my family and raising my kids isn’t enough for me to do, but that’s where I’m at.

This morning, I got up for my run and just wasn’t feeling it. I wanted to go out for 15 miles, but I didn’t have the heart to. A lot of people use running as a release, but I can’t do it without a clear mind. I was going to go back to bed, but then I figured I’d be mad at myself for eating too much yesterday and not using it today. So I went out for a run and got about 1/10 of a mile before turning back. I just didn’t have it in me, although it has nothing to do with running.

Why am I writing this? Heck, I don’t know. I have mixed emotions about whether I should really be posting any more. But I guess until I get zero page views, it’s not totally a waste of time. And maybe some of you who have been following along still want to follow along as I come down from my cloud?

Anyways, that’s all, I guess. Have a great weekend, everybody. Sorry to be such a downer!