13 years ago today, I woke up with the worst hangover ever. I felt like my head was going to explode out of my eye. The night before was my bachelor party and I drank like a rock star. The problem is, I had dropped about 20 percent of my body weight and had zero alcohol in the 2 1/2 months prior to that night.
To look good for my wedding pictures, I went on a very strict diet and exercise regimen and dropped my weight from 245 to 203. Zero alcohol. Zero meals prepared outside of my kitchen. Nobody saw me (not even my fiance/now wife) during those 2 1/2 months and they were all shocked by my transformation! They couldn’t believe how much I’d slimmed down. I was going to look great for those pictures!**
I’ll skip through most of the details of my bachelor party, but I will give you two important lessons:
1. If you drop 20% of your body weight and have zero drinks in a 2 1/2-month time frame, your tolerance will decrease.
2. Don’t have your bachelor party two nights before your wedding.
The reason my head felt like it was going to explode through my eye is because I think it was going to explode through my eye. It was swollen pretty close to shut. This was the day before my wedding! I kept ice on my eye all day and slept with a bag of ice on my face. I woke up on the morning of my wedding and the swelling hadn’t gone down much. But now, I had a black eye!
** Black eyes do not look good in wedding photos.
Apparently, two of my friends, who also had a little too much to drink, accidentally knocked my eye into a doorknob when they carried me into my folks’ house. Did I mention I had passed out a few hours earlier and missed the good parts of my party? No need to go into detail.
We did all we could, which is cover it up with makeup and move on. If you look at the wedding pictures, you can tell it was a little swollen. In the video of the last hour or so of the reception, you could see the black eye because most of the makeup had worn off.
So yeah, I wore eye makeup at my wedding, and I had a black eye my entire honeymoon. And I didn’t even have a good story to tell. It’s not like I got brave and took on three bouncers. I lost a battle with a doorknob.
The worst mistake in all of this? We didn’t get any good pictures of the black eye. So it just lives on in our memory. But it happened.
My Talented Son
On Saturday night, I picked up my oldest son Benjamin from his class at church and he was all excited because he won!!!! When I cut through the excitement, I found out he won a talent competition. I was amazed! I mean, I love my son, but talent? I had no clue what he could have possibly done to win. So I asked him, and he demonstrated his God-given ability that he used to win the 4th grade/5th grade talent competition at church.
He made fart noises with his neck.
I didn’t know what to think. I still don’t.
Does it get any better than this?
Today is my HALF BIRTHDAY! Yeah! I’m celebrating with coffee.
That’s all for today. I’m done with my oatmeal and I need to get to get to work. Have a great Tuesday, y’all!
Waitaminute, attending bachelor parties and making fart noises with neck are MY special talents!
I can’t believe your son won a talent contest for that at CHURCH!!! That is so hilarious.
Sam, I love reading your blog, and the way you invite us into your life. FYI: Jack’s Race was my favorite Half ever, and I’m looking forward to running again this year!
Have you ever heard the song “The Worst Hangover Ever” by The Offspring? It’s pretty funny. Check it out on itunes.
I can speak from experience when I say that having your bachelor party the night before the wedding is an even worse idea than two nights before. Thankfully, the ceremony wasn’t until 5 or 6 (in the evening sometime), so I had a chance to recover somewhat. Some of my groomsmen were looking pretty haggard though.