If you’ve been around here in the past, you know my wife and I are struggling like mad to get our 9-year-old severely autistic son into school. Between Facebook, Twitter, emails, texts and everything else in between, a lot of you have been asking what’s the latest status with us getting Jack into school. So, I figured it would be easiest to just write a blog with the latest and not-so-greatest. Also, if you don’t have the time to reach the bottom of this post, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE click here to join Jack’s Army!

If you’ve never been here, here’s the quick elevator pitch: I’m a father of three and a marathon runner and between running 61 full marathons in 2010 and putting on the Operation Jack Marathon every year, I’ve grossed about $180,000 in my fight against autism. Operation Jack is named after my son, Jack, who is a 9-year-old, low-functioning autistic child, still not potty trained with very limited communication. For more about my charity efforts, click here.

OK, so here’s the deal with Jack’s school. Jack elopes, which means he runs away without warning, and he’s pretty sneaky about it. He waits for the perfect opportunity and then darts. He’s a complete danger to himself, which is why he’s had a handicap parking placard for more than four years now. He doesn’t know any better, but it’s a challenge.

He was enrolled at the local school, which he attended in the spring, but we were sold on moving him to different school about six miles down the road. We didn’t know at the time that the new school has a playground that’s 86 feet from a parking lot and NOT FENCED! Some things you just take for granted, like … your kid isn’t going to be at risk of a fatal incident every time he goes to recess. We tried to get him back into the previous school, because it’s actually safe, but we’ve been denied without ever being told a truthful reason (they tell us they’re not letting Jack go there because we don’t want him to go there, even though we want him to go there and we’re asking for him to be able to go there).

So, here’s an update on what’s going on.

1. We had a lawyer. Now we have no lawyer. And we’re not going to have another lawyer
I’m not going to get into the details about the lawyer we had, but we don’t have her any more and we’re not going to be able to afford to get another one. I’m OK with fighting this fight on behalf of Jack. I feel like what’s morally right is on my side, as are the facts in this situation. I’m going head-to-head with the school district’s lawyer now and if Jack loses and is kept out of school “because they can”, well so be it. It seems like the district is using time and money to keep Jack out of school and it feels like I’m fighting a huge corporation with vast resources, but I’ll keep fighting.

2. We have mediation next Thursday
I have no idea how that’s going to go. And I know it’s non-binding, so it’s not like anybody can force the district to let Jack back in school. But I’m looking forward to being able to talk about the true issues in play without the conversation being steered by the district moderator when the conversation doesn’t fit the district’s agenda.

3. I offered a free fence to the school district. But they wouldn’t take it.
I have a friend who works at a very, very large company and they’re in the contracting business or something like that. He offered to have a fence donated at the unsafe school, so I offered that to the district. The district said they wouldn’t consider taking it until after mediation. Either they want the fence or they don’t want the fence. But to wait until after mediation to consider it obviously means that whether or not they want to consider taking a free fence will be determined by the outcome of mediation. Realistically, they’d find a way to use that free fence offer against me, which truly means they’d find a way to use it against Jack, and I’m not going to allow that to happen. I told the lawyer on December 21 that they had until December 31 and I never heard back.

4. We can’t get an IEP meeting for Jack
We can’t get a meeting for an IEP for Jack. They’ve told us all along that the IEP is never final and we can call a meeting at any time. And from everything we’ve ever been told by anybody, it’s within our federal rights to call an IEP without a time limit. Much to our surprise, when we requested an IEP to cover safety and modifications, they denied us, saying there was no new information. So, I sent them an email with five new pieces of information. And then I followed up. And I followed up. It took 12 emails in one week for the lawyer to finally write me and scold me for being hostile (maybe if it would have only taken 6 emails I would have been happier?). She also told me she would not reply to my emails any more. And still, no acknowledgement of those five new pieces of information. And no IEP.

5. I think the district simply doesn’t want Jack in school
Actions speak louder than words. They keep saying they care about Jack and want him in school. But they know full well we’re never, ever going to take him to an unsafe school. We had two options on the table — the unsafe school and a school that’s about 40 minutes away. Well, that school that’s 40 minutes away was pulled off the table. So, they tightened the vice on us by only leaving us with the unsafe school when they know (and they’ve admitted on the record) that he’ll never attend there. They don’t want to deal with him.

Also, they threatened to report us to the state if we don’t either a) bring him to the unsafe school or b) withdraw him from the district and home school him. Obviously they know A won’t happen. B would get him off their hands. I could see them retaliating against us for fighting for him by having protective custody force him to attend a school where he’s at risk of a fatal incident at every recess break. That makes sense.

The bottom line is that judging by their actions, I’m pretty sure they don’t want to have to teach Jack and they’ll use whatever morally reprehensible maneuvers they can.

And that’s pretty much where we stand. I still have faith this is all going to work out. And I believe deep, deep down inside in my heart of hearts that I’m doing the right thing by fighting for my son’s safety. But this sure isn’t easy.

Last little bit … I’M BEGGING YOU FOR HELP RIGHT NOW. Please, please, please click here and go join Jack’s Army. Super simple. Super, super simple. And PLEASE CLICK THE LINKS I HAVE ON THERE TO SHARE IT ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER!

I couldn’t have picked a worse time for my first flight-booking snafu if I tried.

While running 61 marathons for charity in 2010, I took 124 flights and booked them all myself without a single problem. I was exactly where I needed to be when I needed to be while minimizing my time away from home.

I ran a marathon in Washington DC Halloween morning that year and trick-or-treated with my kids in Southern California that night. I ran a marathon in Seattle on a Saturday morning and arrived home with pizza 15 minutes before my son’s birthday party started late that afternoon in California.

I had Thanksgiving dinner with my family in California, and was home the next night after running a marathon in Washington state. Shoot, last Tuesday night, I was building a snowman for my kids in my front yard in Colorado less than nine hours before I ran the Operation Jack Marathon in Los Angeles.

I’m good at this. Or so I thought. I need to paint a bit of a picture before I explain my mess-up.

Last week was a bit of a whirlwind. I went from Colorado to Los Angeles on Christmas night, ran the Operation Jack Marathon early Wednesday (2:45 a.m.!) on 90 minutes of sleep and somehow blurred my way onto a plane Thursday night.

I felt terrible when I was gone. I was exhausted, but my wife was home sick with bronchitis, as was my daughter Ava. I hated not being there to help, but the Operation Jack Marathon is the centerpiece of my charity work and foundation, so I pretty much have to be there. I walked through the front door Thursday night at 11:30 p.m., was up at 4:40 when my son Jack woke up. A couple of hours later I unpacked and packed before getting ready for work. After work, I went straight to the airport to go to Kansas City for the Operation Jack KC Half In The Snow.

It’s my busiest charity week of the year, but sometimes long, exhausting weeks (or years, when I think back to 2010) are part of the deal when you’re busting your butt for a charity. And Jack started getting getting sick on Friday.

If I wasn’t putting on a race for my charity, I wouldn’t have even thought about still going to Kansas City. But I was torn. The race was put on by a great guy named Matt Popilek, but he had never put on a race before and he was running in it. I was managing it. I’ve done that before. It’s for my foundation. My son’s name is in the race. I needed to be there. But I needed to be home, too.

Tiff was on the phone with me when I pulled into the parking lot at the airport. She sounded terrible and I felt terrible for and I told her to be extremely direct with me and not to have me try to read between any lines. She told me to go to Kansas City.

I kept going, made it through security and she called again and told me she needed me to come home. I asked her about getting help for her and she didn’t want to get anybody sick. I was in a bit of a panic mode. Nothing is more important than my family’s health, but our foundation and charity efforts are very important to us and the race in Kansas City has good potential to be a long-term, annual fundraiser. The inaugural event is important and I got confirmation earlier that afternoon that the Kansas City Star would be there to cover the event.

I called a couple of friends of mine who are big Operation Jack supporters, but also wives. I needed instant feedback. I kept going towards the gate, because until I was on the plane, I wasn’t on the plane and I didn’t have to go. But I didn’t want the decision to be to go and then be too far away.

I got mixed feedback. They acknowledged that there was no good, easy decision. Between the two of them, they seemed on the fence, leaning a little towards advising me to stay home. I called Matt and told him I might not be going. I sensed some concern in his voice.

I called Tiff up, not knowing if I was going or not. I expressed my concerns about not being in Kansas City and not being in Colorado. She was concerned that she’d recover quickly with medicine and it might be a mistake for me to not go to Kansas City. This was a tough decision that we had to make impulsively, but she knew I’d be home Saturday night and she told me to just go. I was incredibly nervous to make that decision to get on the plane. I felt like I needed to be in Colorado and Kansas City, but I had faith that Tiffany would be OK.

I was boarding at about the time I needed to check in for my return flight, so I asked one of those friends I had called to check me in. She couldn’t do it. I sat down on my plane and I couldn’t do it either. It said my flight was either within an hour or more than 24 hours away. But that wasn’t the case.

So, I looked up my itinerary on my Southwest app on my phone. And then I discovered the worst timing ever for my first airline-ticket-booking error.

My flight back on Saturday night was actually on Sunday night. Not good. And then it was time to power down since the cabin doors were closing. Not good. Not good.

I hopped on wifi when the plane took off and saw that the flight back on Saturday night was going to be $313. Not in the budget. Not good. Decided not to tell Tiff Friday night, because really, it wouldn’t do her any good to know before Saturday. Ugggghhhh. Worst. Timing. Ever.

I went straight to the Southwest counter in the terminal and pleaded with the guy who was there to help. He said he’d do everything he could and even wave the fee. Oh, thank goodness.

Then he checked. And checked. And checked. Direct flights. Flights through St. Louis. And Dallas. And Houston. And San Antonio. The best flight he could find was 138 people checked in for a flight with 137 seats. In plain English, that’s a no. I was so bummed.

On the shuttle to car rental, I hopped on Travelocity. The cheapest one-way back was $441 or $433, something like that. Something way out of my price range.

I told Tiff that I landed safely, but didn’t tell her about my flight problem. She said she was feeling a little better so I let her sleep and prayed that she started to feel better.

At 4:45 a.m. Saturday morning Kansas City time, I got a call from her. She sounded about as bad as I’ve ever heard her. There was a 7:10 a.m. flight back that I could have bought up to for $100, but she told me not to bother, that it would be too late to help by the time I got home anyways. She was just glad I was going to be home that night.

Yeah, um, not the best time to tell her about my little problem.

So I couldn’t fall back to sleep and went out to set up the race. I had to run the course backwards to mark it and for the first time in my life, I had coffee before I ran. I was that tired at the start of my day. I’d had 19 hours of sleep in the previous four nights, and in those four days I’d flown three times and run a marathon. I was exhausted.

When the race got going, I was talking to volunteers about my predicament. My only real option was to drive a rental car back if it was affordable, but I didn’t know how affordable that would be. I was hoping Tiff would get better, but at about noon, I got a text from my oldest son Benjamin. He told me she wanted to know if I could catch an earlier flight home.

Tell me about it. I sure was trying, not that they had any idea of the irony in that question. I told him I was trying, but that I was having problems with my airline ticket.

Tiff took his phone and texted me in all caps, letting me know it was her, demanding to know what was going on. The gig was up. I told her. Of all the words I could use to describe her at that moment, happy was not one of them.

She told me to spend the money to get home. Earlier that morning, a neighbor took her and Jack to the hospital. This was the worst situation ever. I felt like I was stranded on a remote island and my wife and kids needed me at home and I could only buy my way back with money we don’t have. I already know how this story ends and I’m getting stressed just thinking about it.

Well, I went and did a quick search for a one-way car rental and found one from Budget for $84. 605 miles would be 20-25 gallons of gas. $150ish to get to Denver. I knew it would be physically demanding to make the drive, and I was mentally prepared to pull over at any time to be smart and take a nap. But I feel like one quality I have (see: 61 all-out marathons in 2010) is to step up and defeat exhaustion when I need to.

Tiff asked me what time I would get home and I told her sometime after her and the kids went to bed and before they woke up, just like if I was flying in. 136 ounces of coffee later, I eventually walked through the front door at 1:15 a.m., 21 1/2 hours after I woke up in Kansas City after 4 1/2 hours of sleep. I had been awake for 97 of the previous 116 hours.

As I put on my Facebook and Twitter that night, The worst thing about having war stories to tell is you have to earn them. New story in progress in Kansas …

Well, I think I’ve fully recovered and I have a new war story. And you can bet pretty good money I’ll never book an airline ticket on the wrong date again.[subscribe2]

Three things Thursday … time to count to three and go to work.

1. Well, it’s late November, which means we’re in full swing for the Operation Jack Marathon. If you’re planning on running the race in California on December 26, CLICK HERE to register! I’m not the one handling registration this year, so you can’t sweet-talk me and tell me how nice my hair is to get me to let you in like the past couple of years. So do it. Now. 🙂

Also, check out our Satellite Runs in Oregon, Maine and Kansas City.

OREGON: A friend of mine, Steve Walters, is putting on a race in the Portland, Oregon area on December 22. It’s the third year he’s done this — it’s a low-key, timed race. Six hours, most laps wins, but most folks are just going out there to get however many miles in that they want to. I’ve run one of these races for him, plus I put on one modeling his lead and they’re a really nice time. People going out, running, supporting the cause. If you’re in Oregon, CLICK HERE to see what Steve is doing!

KANSAS CITY: We’re going to have a half-marathon on December 29 in Lenexa. We’ll have the same shirts and medals as the race back in California and I’m 99% sure I’m going to be out there helping out. There’s a shortcut link to the event at operationjack.org/kc

MAINE: We have a good group of autism fighters out in the Portland, Maine area having an event with prizes. CLICK HERE for their event. Those of you in Maine who read this probably already know them (or are them), but just in case, check it out! They’re also going to have the same shirts and medals as the folks in California.

EVERYBODY ELSE: You can still participate in your own satellite run. Here’s a page with information. You’ll get the same medal as everybody else in the other races and you’ll be supporting a great cause. So check it out!

2. Best Christmas card ever, us in 2010:

3. My mother-in-law (Jack’s Grandma) likes to sell Avon and is doing a fundraiser for Operation Jack. She’s having an online event and she’s donating all of the proceeds to the Operation Jack Autism Foundation. She loves him more than words can express and has spent so much time helping us out with him over the years and is really excited about raising money in his name. So, if you ever buy things from Avon, or if you’re willing to browse around for a couple of minutes and see if there’s something small you might like (heck, it’s a fundraiser where you actually get something back for your donation!), click to operationjack.org/avon.

That’s all for today … have a great weekend! Go K-State! Beat Texas!

Just a few words and the pictures will talk for themselves. I don’t like to shave, so I don’t do it very often. But I like to create various mustaches when I shave if I start off with a beard. I had a beard going for a little while and finally shaved it last Thursday.

What look is the best? Was I not made to have a mustache?

Have a great Wednesday!

I have a serious, serious problem. It’s getting worse by the day and it’s not normal. I went off the deep end this weekend, going to three different stores looking for that perfect little something to cure my fix.

Quick little bit that I always put in here that’s unrelated to me doing dishes: I fight autism willingly because my son Jack has no choice — he is 9 and severely autistic. I’ve done the best I can to raise money over the past three years. My foundation (Operation Jack Autism Foundation) and marathon (Operation Jack Marathon) have brought in more than $150K. Click here for a quick video and brief summary about Operation Jack.

Ok, elevator pitch over. Dishes. I’ve really started to like doing dishes. And I don’t know why. This problem has been building over the past month and it got really bad this weekend.

We didn’t have a stopper for our kitchen sink and I went all over Broomfield, Colo. looking for one. I looked all over at Wal-Mart and didn’t find one. I went to Safeway and they had a few different options. I didn’t like any of them, so I left. I was trying to decide whether I should hit up Target or go to a hardware store as I continued my quest.

I came up on Home Depot, so that was my answer. They had a few different options and I saw one I liked. It was $5.98, about $3.50 more than the one at Safeway I passed up on, but I was fine with the price. This one was better. This one is all mine now.

I busted it out for the first time on Saturday night and I loved it. No more turning the water on and off while I wash dishes. I can keep the faucet on, wash while I fill the sink and power through the process of making my dishes awesome.

I even got up from the couch while watching the Notre Dame – USC game on Saturday night to spend some quality time in the kitchen (don’t worry — I was still able to see game from there).

I love that stopper. It’s my new best friend. Yesterday, my wife Tiffany left with our daughter Ava to go have lunch. A little while later, when me and the boys were done with lunch, I took those dishes, as well as the ones from breakfast, and took care of business. Then I sent Tiff this text:

Later on Sunday afternoon, Tiff did some dishes while I was out front hanging Christmas lights. I wasn’t happy about that and I let her know.

But I suspect we’ll all eat again today. And tomorrow. And I’ll get another chance to do some dishes. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m sure I’ll get over this in no time flat. For now, though, I’m loving my stopper, my sink and my dirty dishes.

I’m Obviously Not An Engineer

Speaking of those Christmas lights I was hanging yesterday, I’m … well, I don’t even know the word. I was hanging the lights up and I think I did a better job than I ever did back when we lived in California.

For starters, I didn’t freak out when I got on the ladder. I’m deathly afraid of heights. I don’t even like standing on my tiptoes. Many times in the past, Tiff has hung the lights because she doesn’t mind getting on the ladder. But I decided I was gonna get this done and that would be that.

Armed with my staple gun, five sets of lights, my 6-foot painting ladder and my neighbor’s super-crazy-tall-get-you-up-to-20-feet-high ladder, I set out to get this done. And I did.

I got them hung up and strung out. I got a late start (thanks to Tiff) and it was dark and cold by the time I was done. But I got them done! I never looked down, I never got scared (except for once) and I didn’t break anything.

I also couldn’t find a plug when all was said and done.

Both ends of the string of lights had a female end. NO PLUG! I looked along the entire line a few times and couldn’t find it. There was one spot where two sets of lights were joined and that spot was covered in duct tape from a previous year. I was starting to think that there was a plug that was plugged into the back of an extension that had a plug on the other side.

I was starting to get convinced that I was going to have to take down all the lights before I could even turn them on, then re-connect them and re-hang them. I was not looking forward to this in the least bit.

I needed to go to the grocery store last night and on the way out of the front door before I got in my car, I decided to take one more look at the lights. I followed it very carefully from end to end. And then, right there in the dark, there it was! (Thank goodness for the flashlight app on my phone, by the way.) The plug! I found it! And it was in a spot that would make it pretty easy and reasonable to run an extension cord from!

I ran into the house and was super excited and told Tiff, “I found the plug!!!!!”

And she said, “Have you still not gone to the grocery store?”

But she was happy that I found the plug. I think. I wasn’t explaining the problem very clearly because she had asked me if I just needed another extension cord. After I went to the store and came back, I ran the cord, plugged it in and saw the glow I was wanting to see.

Let there be light!

Tiff was happy. I was happy. And I don’t have to hang Christmas lights until next year. YES!

Jack Update

If you’ve been coming here recently, you know that we’re having some troubles getting Jack into school. Here’s some backstory. I’m not going to get into a lot of details right now, because we just spent a week out of school and I need to get back in the swing of things and find out what’s going on.

But FINALLY, Jack has a lawyer. It’s a shame that we have to go to this extent to get him safely into public school, but I’ll always do what I have to do for my son and I’ll never apologize for fighting for what he deserves.

And that’s all for Monday. Do you do dishes? Do you hang Christmas lights? Will Jack be in school before January? See you back here the next time I post. Have a great day!