Tonight I was sitting on my front porch handing out candy to the trick-or-treaters stopping by the house while my wife Tiffany was out with Benjamin (our oldest) and Ava (our youngest). I was holding down the fort with Jack, our severely autistic 10-year-old. He was hanging out in the basement doing his thing — watching TV, playing on the computer, not knowing the difference between March 31 and October 31.

If you’ve never been here before, Jack is barely verbal and pretty much off in his own world. He has severe diet issues and we can’t take him trick-or-treating because he can’t eat the candy. He doesn’t understand why he can’t eat the candy, so it would be miserable for him to go out. He doesn’t really know or understand that it’s Halloween, so he doesn’t feel like he’s missing out on anything if he doesn’t go out. It’s sad for us as parents, but it’s in Jack’s best interests to be as happy as possible and going out and watching everybody else get to have candy would not make him happy.

So I was sitting there handing out candy and after about 20 minutes, he came up and wanted to sit on my lap. This was apotential issue on my hands because it wouldn’t have taken him long to see what was going on and he would have probably had a meltdown wanting some. But within a minute or so, Tiff randomly came back home and told me she had an idea — she would grab a bunch of organic lollipops that are dye-free that he can have and we’d go ahead to a few houses and give them to the adults to give to him on the sly.

We’re starting to learn more and more by the day that Jack understands a lot of what we’re saying. That doesn’t mean he’ll listen or obey, but we know he understands. Earlier this week, Tiff told him that he left the remote control to the DVD player up in Ava’s room and he went upstairs and got it! That might not seem like anything big for a 10-year-old, but for us, it was huge. That little stinker knows what we’re telling him!

The reason I’m telling you this is because when Tiff told him she was going to put him in a costume and take him trick or treating, he got super excited! So he became a skeleton, we shut off the porch light and house-to-house we went. Ben and Ava would go up first, get some candy, and Ava would explain to the adult about the lollipop. Everybody was very receptive and accommodating for this.

Ben ended up with 93 pieces of candy and Ava had 85. Jack had a rotation of about five little lollipops, but he didn’t know the difference. And he had FUN! It upsets us that he’s missing a lot of the things that typical kids get to experience during their childhoods, but tonight, he didn’t have to get the short end of the stick! He got to go trick-or-treating like every other kid and eat too much candy and get a little hyper. He had a blast, which is something he and every other kid deserves.

It was BYOC (bring your own candy) trick-or-treating, autism style! I thought it was a clever, last-minute idea. And I’m glad that finally, Jack got to have fun like all the other kids!

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Good news and bad news can be all about perspective and when it comes to a glass half-empty vs. half-full challenge, we could definitely swing either way about the news we got about Jack yesterday.

Jack, in case you don’t know, is my severely autistic 10-year-old son. He’s the inspiration for this website and everything I do to fight autism (plug: About Operation Jack). I like to write about what he goes through to spread autism awareness, so people know what autism is really like. It’s not just about quirky kids who are good on the piano. It’s innocent kids trapped with wrecked minds and bodies. When I slow down and just gaze at him, that’s what I think about.

He has severe mental issues, which are obvious if you ever observe him or try (and fail) to communicate. But I’d argue that the bigger part of what he goes through are the problems with his leaky gut. It seems like every meal causes him pain. My wife Tiffany has done a lot of data collection over the years and we’ve had a pretty good idea of what he can and can’t eat. But yesterday we finally got test results that confirmed what he can’t eat. It’s a fairly lengthy list:

• Red apples
• Bananas
• Blackberries
• Blueberries
• Casein
• Cherries
• Cocoa
• Corn
• Cranberries
• Egg whites
• Eggplant
• Garlic
• Red grapes
• Milk
• Onions
• Peanuts
• Red Peppers
• Green peppers
• Plums
• White potatoes
• Soy
• Strawberries
• Tomatoes
• Watermelon
• Wheat

On one hand, it’s tough to look at that list, because that’s a whole lot of things he can’t eat. It’s easy to feel sorry for him and all the things he’ll miss out on that we currently let him have. But this might be the map we need to finally right the ship. At one point, I texted Tiff about this and told her to try to focus on what he can eat, not what he can’t eat. At least we know.

And when we were putting him to bed last night, I told her that let’s say worst case, he never gets there mentally and never gets up to the level of high-functioning. Well, if we can at least feed him right and that takes away his pain, that would be a huge plus. One thing we hear people say a lot is, “well, as long as he’s happy … ” and there’s merit to that. I’m not still hanging on to the illusion that he can’t enjoy his life if he doesn’t marry a typical woman and have children. But he’s not at all happy when he’s in pain, which is every day.

He’ll always fight autism, so we’ll always fight autism. Hopefully this information helps us help him.

That’s all I have for today … have a great day![subscribe2]

I’m a 106-time marathoner, so I’m not inherently opposed to using my feet to get from A to B. Apparently, it’s a different story for my kids. Here’s a text from my son to my wife last week:

He was at the bus stop. Tiff went to pick him up and she hit the trip meter just for the heck of it.

There’s your round trip, 1/10 of a mile, less than a football field one-way. It was raining, but seriously! Oh well, I love him anyways. Have a great Wednesday!

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Note: I posted this on the Operation Jack Marathon website as part of a series we’re creating called “Why I’m Running” where some participants will write guest posts about why they’re participating. Here’s my why … I’m cross-posting here.

The Operation Jack Marathon is a race. Marathon, half marathon. Bib pickup, aid stations, t-shirt, great medal, volunteers, age group awards, post-race food, pre-race instructions, bag check. It’s a race. But it’s not just a race. It’s a cause and an event, a day where people come together, have a good time and fight autism one mile at a time.

Everybody who’s out there has a reason for running the race. Here’s mine:

I created the event with Operation Jack super supporter Jake Rome back in 2010. That year, I was running 61 marathons to raise money to fight autism. The premise was at least one marathon a week, all-out. Some weeks there were two and one weekend I ran three. I named the endeavor Operation Jack, after my son Jack. He turned 7 late that year and is 10 now. It eats me up inside when I think about the mind and body he’s stuck with in this world, and while I know he’s going to struggle between now and his final day, I want him to leave a mark on this world. He’s my son — what father doesn’t want that for their child?

So, I had this idea that I’d run a whole lot of marathons and raise money to fight autism. I know I wouldn’t have done it if not for him, and I knew it would have been a fruitless effort if people weren’t inspired by his struggles enough to want to join the fight. Without even knowing it, Jack would make the world a better place — that was my plan. Everything has gone well (this race and the Operation Jack Autism Foundation have combined to gross about $190,000 to date) and I think this all would be a success if we never raised another nickel.

But back to 2010 — near the end of the year, the last race of the year fell through and less than three months out, I had to create a marathon in order to complete that marathon-a-week mission I had set out on at the beginning of the year. Along with Jake, we created a race in about two months. It was intended to be a one-time thing, but the feedback we got was so overwhelmingly positive, plus quite a few of the participants asked us if we were going to be back in 2011.

The race became an annual day-after-Christmas tradition and we’re coming up on our fourth running in 2 1/2 months.

It’s a fundraiser for the foundation with my son’s name on it, for a cause I’m passionate about, in the type of event I love to participate in (I’ve run 106 marathons since 2006). That’s why I’m running it — it’s a no-brainer. But I’m running it differently than everybody else. Waaaay differently.

I’m taking a 1 a.m. early start.

In 2010, I had to be out on the course during the race. In 2011, I ran the race again and stayed at the finish area afterwards and had a ton of fun talking with finishers and handing out medals after I was done. I decided that day that I would take an early start at 2:30 a.m. so I could be done before the start and then be there to hand out medals and thank as many participants as possible. What I didn’t know when I made that plan was that I’d be relocating to Colorado.

I posted this over on the Operation Jack Marathon website and I’m cross-posting it here.

I spent Christmas with my family, built a snowman and had dinner, then drove to the airport for a quick trip down to California. I got in, got 90 minutes of shut-eye, then went and ran the course in the dark while rain poured down. I got to talk to everybody before the race and handed medals and age-group awards to quite a few of the finishers. I really enjoyed it. That’s totally the way I’m going to do it every year now. But I don’t live in Colorado any more. Autism forced me to relocate my family to the Philadelphia area this year. This is home for good now, we bought a house and anchored down.

So I’ll be doing Christmas dinner with my family out here in Pennsylvania, flying out, and landing in LA at about midnight (it’ll be 3 a.m. body time). I’ll get my car, go straight to the course and run it. I should be done, showered and changed in time to work with the first volunteers to arrive. Then, I’ll be there to see the first participants show up.

I’ll be there for every minute of the race. But like I said, it’s more than a race. It’s a cause. The way everybody comes together to run and have a good time and enjoy a great sense of community for a great cause makes it one of my favorite days of the year, especially since the event is inspired by the sweetest little boy I know. He doesn’t deserve the autism that controls his every day and I truly believe that the money raised from this race will help some child somewhere not suffer as much as him someday.

That’s why I’m running the Operation Jack Marathon.

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If you’re planning on running the Operation Jack Marathon but haven’t yet registered, make sure you get in on Monday, September 16, to take advantage of a one-day only discount.

Jack, my son, of Operation Jack, of the Operation Jack Marathon, turns 10 on Monday. So we’re offering a birthday special, $10 off. Use the code Jack10 to get the discount.

To register, click to http://bit.ly/OJM2013[subscribe2].